Some young people have free time in the evenings after school or on days off from school. Which of the
following activities would be most beneficial for young people (ages 14-18) to do in their spare time?
Why?
- Gaining practical work experience either at a part time job or by volunteering in the community
-Learning to play a sport
- Learning to play a musical instrument
We are living in a sophisticated age which leisure time plays a significant role in individual’s life. People are always trying to make their lives more convenient, delightful and purposeful. Some people believe that young people having 14-18 years old should learn to play a sport or a musical instrument, while others are convinced that these children should take a part-time job or participate in a volunteer work. After carefully pondering it from several aspects, I strongly agree with the latter idea. There are some reasons, the most outstanding of which will be discussed in the ensuing paragraphs.
First of all, undoubtedly, experience is a significant as well as fundamental parts of people’ life. Gaining knowledge through practical works expand young people’s horizon and also they are able to obtain better insight about their future. As a matter of fact, they are supposed to attend the society in the near future which participating in these programs bring them several lucrative consequences. For example, they learn how to manage their issues, how to collaborate with their friends and also how to follow something to get a suitable result. To illustrate this fact, on only needs to refer to the number of prosperous people participating in these programs in order to gain valuable experiences. Although participating in these program may take their time, what results from doing these works are to increase their ability to take the responsibility of what they do. The noteworthy intelligible results, which conducted in our country, show that the high percentage of students taking part-time job, are one who could find a decent job in the future due to having precious experience.
The second reason why I agree with it is that, obviously, taking part-time job provides an opportunity for the young students who are in this epoch to accumulate a hoard of money. The money obtained by taking part-time job enables student to pay their way. Since, some parents cannot afford to enroll their children in a great school, they are able to go to the best schools to follow their goals by the obtained money from taking part-time job. Furthermore, this job may allow them to continue their study at abroad because oversea universities are prestigious that after graduation they will be an experienced and knowledgeable person. Hence, if I were to be a determiner in our government, I would have established a center to provide part-time job for students who are in this period. In addition to aforementioned notes, there is a well-known proverb in Persian, the equivalent of which in English may sound like this” the more you gain money by taking part-time job, the more you would make your future better and successful”.
To make a long story short, no one can deny the enormous positive effect of taking part-time job or participating in a volunteer’s work. Not only are students in this epoch able to enhance their knowledge and experience, but also they could save money for what they have in their mind. For this reason, I highly recommended that every student experience these programs even for one time.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 180, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...s epoch to accumulate a hoard of money. The money obtained by taking part-time job ...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, hence, if, may, second, so, well, while, for example, in addition, as a matter of fact, as well as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 7.48453608247 267% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 4.92783505155 264% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 10.0 5.05154639175 198% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 3.03092783505 462% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 54.0 32.9175257732 164% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 74.0 26.3917525773 280% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 9.0 3.85567010309 233% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2642.0 937.175257732 282% => Less number of characters wanted.
No of words: 518.0 206.0 251% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10038610039 4.54256449028 112% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77070365392 3.78020617076 126% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98006975258 2.54303337028 117% => OK
Unique words: 263.0 127.690721649 206% => Less unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.507722007722 0.622605031667 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 833.4 290.88556701 287% => syllable counts are too long.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.41237113402 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.13402061856 88% => OK
Article: 7.0 0.824742268041 849% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 5.0 1.83505154639 272% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.463917525773 216% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 1.44329896907 346% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 12.6804123711 166% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 16.3608247423 147% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 47.4722021537 44.8134815571 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.80952381 76.5299724578 164% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.6666666667 16.8248392259 147% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.80952380952 4.34317383033 157% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.29896907216 93% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 2.54639175258 39% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 7.41237113402 243% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.49484536082 67% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.94845360825 51% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.297087677988 0.216113520407 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0915912180473 0.0766984524023 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0452551604455 0.0603063233224 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.192217602424 0.12726935374 151% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0464705636697 0.0580467560999 80% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 8.37731958763 178% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 70.7449484536 67% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 3.82989690722 230% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 7.45979381443 170% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 8.71597938144 145% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.48 7.59969072165 112% => OK
difficult_words: 120.0 41.2886597938 291% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 8.62886597938 133% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 8.54432989691 136% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 8.15463917526 159% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.