You live in a room in college which you share with another student.
However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it
very difficult to work.
Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter,
• describe the situation
• explain your problems and why it is difficult to work
• say what kind of accommodation you would prefer
Dear Mr. Smith,
I am writing to ask you about a favor.
I am a graduate student and this is my final year. I used to share the apartment with another student with whom I had no problems but he graduated this spring. Two weeks ago I was given a new roommate.
There are several issues that impede me from studying. Firstly, our schedules are in conflict: my lessons start at 07:30 am every weekday while my roommate’s lectures begin in the evening and sometimes continue till 11:00 pm. This is extremely inconvenient for both of us because we keep disturbing each other and the quality of my sleep has been decreasing steadily since he has moved in. Moreover, he gets used to eat only his national food that he prefers to cook in the apartments. The food omits strange and even horrible smell. The odor does not let me concentrate on studying. In other words, sharing a room with this person has a converse effect on my academic records.
I would like to get my own apartment without a necessity to live with someone else. I understand that I will have to pay an additional fee and I am willing to do it. If I live separately from others, I will be able to focus on studying and preparation to the final exams. It needn’t say that the last year at college is the hardest one. Hope on your understanding.
Sincerely yours,
Eugene Dubinchuk.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
Some sentences can be simplified with less pronouns. for example:
If I live separately from others, I will be able to focus on studying and preparation to the final exams.
advised:
Living separately from others enables me focusing on studying and preparing the final exams.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 248 250
No. of Characters: 1063 1200
No. of Different Words: 167 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.968 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.286 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.541 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 62 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 55 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 35 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.053 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.062 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.263 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.266 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.579 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 52, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...uate student and this is my final year. I used to share the apartment with anothe...
^
Line 7, column 414, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[5]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'used to eating'.
Suggestion: used to eating
...ince he has moved in. Moreover, he gets used to eat only his national food that he prefers ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, if, moreover, so, while, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 7.48453608247 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 4.92783505155 61% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 5.05154639175 139% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 3.03092783505 165% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 32.9175257732 122% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 34.0 26.3917525773 129% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 3.85567010309 78% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1126.0 937.175257732 120% => OK
No of words: 245.0 206.0 119% => OK
Chars per words: 4.59591836735 4.54256449028 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.95632099841 3.78020617076 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71746016609 2.54303337028 107% => OK
Unique words: 164.0 127.690721649 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.669387755102 0.622605031667 108% => OK
syllable_count: 351.0 290.88556701 121% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.41237113402 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.13402061856 109% => OK
Article: 2.0 0.824742268041 243% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 1.83505154639 54% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.463917525773 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 1.44329896907 69% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 12.6804123711 134% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 16.3608247423 86% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.6869217997 44.8134815571 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 66.2352941176 76.5299724578 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.4117647059 16.8248392259 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.52941176471 4.34317383033 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.29896907216 93% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 2.54639175258 79% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 7.41237113402 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 1.49484536082 334% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 3.94845360825 177% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.151015503794 0.216113520407 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0400342369978 0.0766984524023 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0575931484579 0.0603063233224 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0998033090431 0.12726935374 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0445650400621 0.0580467560999 77% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.4 8.37731958763 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 74.19 70.7449484536 105% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 3.82989690722 81% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.4 7.45979381443 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.81 8.71597938144 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.68 7.59969072165 101% => OK
difficult_words: 52.0 41.2886597938 126% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 8.62886597938 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 8.54432989691 89% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 8.15463917526 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 87.0786516854 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.75 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.