It is generally believed that some people who born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these vie

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It is generally believed that some people who born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In today's modern world, we are constantly bombarded with the idea that those who achieve success in their careers or studies, are born with certain talents. Some people, however, are of the opinion that every child can be as talented as them as they asset that children nowadays can be sent to classes to learn the required technique. Thus, we will examine both sides of the arguments before reaching a reasonable conclusion.

Admittedly, some people seem to be more talented than others due to the extraordinary achievements they have ever had which then leads to the belief that they are born with a specific talent. They can pick up or learn new things that they have not been exposed to in certain field, for example, sports or music, much faster than others. It is also believed that parents whom have mastered the skills in sports, then their children are more likely to he born with such skills as well. Hence, the children are, normally, able to achieve their aspirations easier than others, in other words, they do not need to work so hard like other people do in order to succeed in their careers or studies.

Nevertheless, it does not mean that other people who do not born with such talents will certainly fail to reach their targets. I believe everyone can be as successful as those who are skillful and talented provided that they are willing to be more dedicated in making attempts to strike their goals. According to the statistic of a recent research conducted in Malaysia, it has shown that about 75% of the people are not born with specific talents but they are still managed to pay extra attentions to their weaknesses and made a change in order to become successful in certain career. Therefore, it is apparent that although majority of people worldwide are not born with talents, due to their patience and endurance, they have striked their targeted goal.

In conclusion, I believe that every individual around the globe can still achieve their aspirations regardless of their talents as long as they are willing to pay more hard works that others. Our nation will surely to continue to prosper and flourish in the decades to come if there are more citizens who become successful in their careers

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parents whom have mastered the skills in sports
parents who have mastered the skills in sports

people who do not born with such talents
people who are not born with such talents

Sentence: Therefore, it is apparent that although majority of people worldwide are not born with talents, due to their patience and endurance, they have striked their targeted goal.
Error: striked Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
More sentences varieties wanted. Look, a lot of sentences start with subject 'they'.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 383 350
No. of Characters: 1800 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.424 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.7 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.379 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 123 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.462 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.044 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.361 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.583 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.107 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5