Some say old people should continue to work, if their condition allows them to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In our society, the old people have the right of retirement after they have worked for several years. When they get retired they can stop working and start taking a rest. But some people argue that if they still are in a good health situation, they should continue to work instead of get retired.
This can be considered a good point especially to prevent some mental problem like for example the Alzheimer's disease. Although many medical studies have proved that there is a genetics predisposition for this kind of incurable diseases, the effects of the Alzheimer's disease can be postpone with brain exercises. Therefore continuing to work will keep the body and the mind active with the purpose of preventing some of these disease.
Moreover, nowadays the job occupies most of the time of our day. For this reason, when someone stop to work, he doesn't know how to spend his free time. This can bring a state of depression or loneliness which can boost the aging of the people especially for who doesn't have the support of a family.
Additionally, a retired person becomes a cost for the community which will pay the pension for the rest of his life. But the reason of the pension is to maintain the people who are no more in the condition of take care of themselves.
Despite we can see the retirement as the goal of our working life, we have to be careful how it can impact on the community and on our daily life and eventually to consider the idea of continue to work until the condition allows us to do it.
the effects of the Alzheimer's disease can be postpone with brain exercises.
the effects of the Alzheimer's disease can be postponed with brain exercises.
when someone stop to work
when someone stops to work
especially for who doesn't have the support of a family.
especially for those who don't have the support of a family.
Despite we can see the retirement as the goal of our working life
Description: Check books how to use 'Despite '
Sentence: But some people argue that if they still are in a good health situation, they should continue to work instead of get retired.
Description: The token of is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to of and get
the idea of continue to work until the condition allows us to do it.
Description: The token of is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to of and continue
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Different Words: 145 200
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 274 350
No. of Characters: 1218 1500
No. of Different Words: 145 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.069 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.445 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.446 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 76 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 59 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 34 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.1 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.353 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.656 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5