Many people believe that the increased presence of violence in films and television these days is responsible for the rising incidents of violent crimes among youths society. They argue that governments have a duty to control the media so as to reduce this phenomenon. Do you agree with this argument?
Youth violence is a problem that many people blame on the media,which they believe should be supervised by the government.I disagree with this idea and believe instead that society itself should fix this problem.
In today's world,young people are influenced by many things,like television,films and websites.It is thus unreasonable to accuse only movies for increasing violence.In other words,today's youth come across all human behaviours equally,such as violence and kindness and greed and generosity.They can witness these things in one news broadcast just as much as they can in action movie.Thus,blaming the entertainment industry is not only unfair,it is also wrong because it ignores the root causes of these behaviours.To suggest that governments should control this,then,is to avoid taking responsibility for ourselves.
Indeed,a government should not act as parents to its citizens.It exists to ensure a society can thrive,not to tell people what to do.On the other hand,parents can and must control what their children see online,in movies,or any other source.Consequently,parents can and must decide whether they want their children to watch a horror movie:it is not a government's job to ban a studio from making it.Once a government controls one sphere,it will be free to act in all areas of or lives because negative influences are everywhere and have always been so.Not only will government actions not stop violence,they will likely increase it as people fight for their freedoms.
In conclusion,violence can be triggered by many things,including,but not limited to media influence.Governments should therefore not be allowed to restrict what entertainment companies produce because they will then have to spread their control to all areas of society.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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...blem that many people blame on the media,which they believe should be supervised by th...
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... should be supervised by the government.I disagree with this idea and believe ins...
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...uld fix this problem. In todays world,young people are influenced by many things,li...
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...ung people are influenced by many things,like television,films and websites.It is thu...
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Suggestion: , films
...nfluenced by many things,like television,films and websites.It is thus unreasonable to...
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...ings,like television,films and websites.It is thus unreasonable to accuse only mov...
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...use only movies for increasing violence.In other words,todays youth come across al...
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...s for increasing violence.In other words,todays youth come across all human behaviours ...
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...come across all human behaviours equally,su h as violence and kindness and greed an...
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Suggestion: They
...e and kindness and greed and generosity.They can witness these things in one news br...
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Suggestion: Thus
...ust as much as they can in action movie.Thus,blaming the entertainment industry is n...
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Suggestion: , blaming
...as much as they can in action movie.Thus,blaming the entertainment industry is not only ...
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...ntertainment industry is not only unfair,it is also wrong because it ignores the ro...
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...res the root causes of these behaviours.To suggest that governments should control...
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...est that governments should control this,then,is to avoid taking responsibility for o...
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... responsibility for ourselves. Indeed,a government should not act as parents to...
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...hould not act as parents to is citizens.It exists to ensure a society can thrive,n...
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...It exists to ensure a society can thrive,not to tell people what to do.On the other ...
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...an thrive,not to tell people what to do.On the other hand,parents can and must con...
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Suggestion: , parents
...tell people what to do.On the other hand,parents can and must control what their childre...
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...t control what their children see online,in movies,or any other source.Consequently...
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...what their children see online,in movies,or any other source.Consequently,parents c...
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...ee online,in movies,or any other source.Consequently,parents can and must decide whether the...
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... movies,or any other source.Consequently,parents can and must decide whether they want t...
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Suggestion: Once
...ents job to ban a studio from making it.Once a government controls one sphere,it wil...
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...it.Once a government controls one sphere,it will be free to act in all areas of or ...
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... are everywhere and have always been so.Not only will government actions not stop v...
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...ill government actions not stop violence,they will likely increase it as people fight...
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Suggestion: , violence
...ght for their freedoms. In conclusion,violence can be triggered by many things,includi...
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...violence can be triggered by many things,including,but not limited to media influence.Gove...
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Suggestion: Governments
...ding,but not limited to media influence.Governments should therefore not be allowed to rest...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, so, then, therefore, thus, in conclusion, in other words, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 13.1623246493 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 7.85571142285 216% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 11.0 10.4138276553 106% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 7.30460921844 55% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 29.0 24.0651302605 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 33.0 41.998997996 79% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.3376753507 144% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1509.0 1615.20841683 93% => OK
No of words: 268.0 315.596192385 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.63059701493 5.12529762239 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.04607285448 4.20363070211 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.73334834188 2.80592935109 133% => OK
Unique words: 158.0 176.041082164 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.589552238806 0.561755894193 105% => OK
syllable_count: 452.7 506.74238477 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 4.0 16.0721442886 25% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 67.0 20.2975951904 330% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 201.10864601 49.4020404114 407% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 377.25 106.682146367 354% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 67.0 20.7667163134 323% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 25.0 7.06120827912 354% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 31.0 5.01903807615 618% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 8.67935871743 12% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.230559731903 0.244688304435 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.141852693606 0.084324248473 168% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0214433750033 0.0667982634062 32% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.141852693606 0.151304729494 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0214433750033 0.056905535591 38% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 38.6 13.0946893788 295% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -4.99 50.2224549098 -10% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 14.6 7.44779559118 196% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 30.6 11.3001002004 271% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 16.56 12.4159519038 133% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 11.44 8.58950901804 133% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 78.4519038076 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 30.0 9.78957915832 306% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 28.8 10.1190380762 285% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 31.0 10.7795591182 288% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.