Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people
To what extent, do you agree or disagree?
It cannot be denied that more and more celebrities emerge every corner of the mass media due to the sumptuous and the power of the rich, for which, their achievements of the one who make every effort faded away. As a result, I totally agree that this issue put the bad horizon on young people but it also make young people’s life be more perfect.
On the one hand, I believe that many people do achieve fame even they did not really work hard. They may be inherited the huge posses from their parents or married wealthy as long as famous person. Moreover, they must have use the power of the journalism which has the massive labor being ready to create their perfect appearances. Adolescence will prone to be attracted by a flat of the one who easily achieve something without the requirement of effort . Consequently, such people will be full of thoughts that they do not really need to try their best to gain something, which lead to degrade of national labor as well as the economic.
The other side of this coin, I agree with the perceptive that there are also lots of success stemming from the one who really put 200% effort, which make them have the excellent role on young people’s targets. First, these advice from negotiations that famous people usually appear have the capacity of motivating teenagers. Secondly, such people have enough qualifications to instruct young people some strategies and experiences so that they can move more easily on their career paths.
To sum up, it seems to me that this issue have both of coin including negative as well as positive influences on young people.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 306, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'makes'?
Suggestion: makes
...bad horizon on young people but it also make young people's life be more perfec...
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Line 2, column 454, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ething without the requirement of effort . Consequently, such people will be full ...
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Line 3, column 192, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ke them have the excellent role on young people's targets. First, these advi...
^^
Line 3, column 223, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this advice' or 'these advices'?
Suggestion: this advice; these advices
...on young people's targets. First, these advice from negotiations that famous people us...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 80, Rule ID: BOTH_AS_WELL_AS[1]
Message: Probable usage error. Use 'and' after 'both'.
Suggestion: and
...ue have both of coin including negative as well as positive influences on young people.
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, if, may, moreover, really, second, secondly, so, well, as a result, as well as, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 13.1623246493 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 10.4138276553 48% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 7.30460921844 205% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 30.0 24.0651302605 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 33.0 41.998997996 79% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.3376753507 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1337.0 1615.20841683 83% => OK
No of words: 281.0 315.596192385 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.75800711744 5.12529762239 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.09427095027 4.20363070211 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5318776444 2.80592935109 90% => OK
Unique words: 161.0 176.041082164 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.572953736655 0.561755894193 102% => OK
syllable_count: 420.3 506.74238477 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 5.43587174349 166% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 16.0721442886 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 39.5620654768 49.4020404114 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.545454545 106.682146367 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.5454545455 20.7667163134 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.0 7.06120827912 156% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.01903807615 100% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.9879759519 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.173136201387 0.244688304435 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0660993759581 0.084324248473 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0424946078754 0.0667982634062 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.106599672314 0.151304729494 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0559480050704 0.056905535591 98% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 13.0946893788 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 50.2224549098 109% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 11.3001002004 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.62 12.4159519038 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.25 8.58950901804 96% => OK
difficult_words: 60.0 78.4519038076 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 9.78957915832 138% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.7795591182 130% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.