Some people blame the government for the increase in childhood obesity while others think it is the parents’ fault.Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay topics:

Some people blame the government for the increase in childhood obesity while others think it is the parents’ fault.Discuss both views and give your opinion

The obesity is becoming a global concern since people prone to have it at all ages especially nowadays, a number of overweight children increase rapidly. Some people think that this dramatic increase depends on the policies of the government, but I would argue that it is completely belong to their parent’s fault.
On the one hand, there are many reasons can be put forward to explain why the government also contribute an integer fraction of the increase in childhood obesity. First of all, over the past, the authorities generally military aid rather than problems relating to the childhood health. National bodies rarely campaign citizens for safeguarding their health out of the obesity through the negotiation of the experts who have a deep insight into health troubles. Secondly, the government put in all their efforts to control the appearance arbitrarily of the enterprise producing almost the daily food for children especially junk food. The authorities turn behind eyes and let these companies found and neglect the heath risk they can carry for kids.
On the other hand, we can not totally put burden on the responsibility for the government. The way of food treated everyday by their parents is the main factor affects on the childhood obesity. Children often are stimulated due to various form of eye-catching advertising stemming from fast food brands, and then they will put pressure on their parents to buy it, as a result, they have to buy these goods impulsively although they know such food are detrimental to their offspring ‘s health.
To sum up, despite reproaches forward to the government involving to the obesity in children, I would argue that the parents ‘ fault is a deciding factor.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 284, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'belonged'.
Suggestion: belonged
...but I would argue that it is completely belong to their parent's fault. On the o...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 51, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... hand, there are many reasons can be put forward to explain why the government a...
^^
Line 2, column 90, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t forward to explain why the government also contribute an integer fraction of t...
^^
Line 2, column 183, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...in childhood obesity. First of all, over the past, the authorities generally mili...
^^
Line 2, column 488, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ealth troubles. Secondly, the government put in all their efforts to control the ...
^^
Line 3, column 30, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...for kids. On the other hand, we can not totally put burden on the responsibility...
^^
Line 3, column 204, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[4]
Message: The adverb 'often' is usually put after the verb 'are'.
Suggestion: are often
...ects on the childhood obesity. Children often are stimulated due to various form of eye-c...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 56, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ite reproaches forward to the government involving to the obesity in children, I ...
^^
Line 4, column 139, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ould argue that the parents ' fault is a deciding factor.
^^
Line 4, column 162, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nts ' fault is a deciding factor.
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, second, secondly, so, then, in fact, as a result, first of all, to sum up, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 13.1623246493 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 7.85571142285 76% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 10.4138276553 38% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 4.0 7.30460921844 55% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 24.0651302605 91% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 41.998997996 98% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.3376753507 96% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1452.0 1615.20841683 90% => OK
No of words: 283.0 315.596192385 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.13074204947 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.10153676581 4.20363070211 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77420492449 2.80592935109 99% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 176.041082164 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.600706713781 0.561755894193 107% => OK
syllable_count: 441.0 506.74238477 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Article: 6.0 2.52805611222 237% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 16.0721442886 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 54.2641229665 49.4020404114 110% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.0 106.682146367 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.7272727273 20.7667163134 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.0 7.06120827912 142% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.01903807615 199% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.67935871743 35% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.9879759519 150% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.214688121124 0.244688304435 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0833796474317 0.084324248473 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0607676183382 0.0667982634062 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.143224176934 0.151304729494 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0552630965872 0.056905535591 97% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 13.0946893788 119% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 50.2224549098 92% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 11.3001002004 115% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.77 12.4159519038 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.84 8.58950901804 103% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 78.4519038076 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 9.78957915832 148% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.