In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing.
What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Nowadays, modern lifestyles have led several health problems in our society. Obesity which is one of the most common cause of death has increased in many countries and is followed by the decline of health and fitness conditions. There is a major factor that might cause these problems; however, I personally believe that the government should take the main responsibility for tackling this issue.
Bad eating habits have the biggest contribution to this issue. One reason for this is that the booming fast food restaurants. It is undeniable that the fast food restaurants offer an alternative way for busy people with served quickly as well as affordable prices. Not only that, but also the fast food becomes a favourite food and even for many of us, it has replaced the basic daily meals. Mc donald in Indonesia; for example, providing many variants menu which are designed for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Consequently, people become overly dependent on fast food every day and it triggers a potential obesity. These conditions will be also followed by the decline level of health and fitness.
To tackle this problem, the government should take the responsibility to regulate food business. This can be attributed that the socialization is less effective in recent days; in contrast, there are uncontrolled growth of fast food restaurants in our surroundings. Research carried out by statistics center in Adelaide shows that three-fourths of people tend to choose fast food restaurants due to a few option of healthy food in their office areas; besides, the rest of people do not have enough time as another reason. This research makes it clear that the government should take some steps to control food business such as imposing tax to unhealthy restaurants and making strict rules for new restaurants in order that helping people to avoid unhealthy foods.
In a word, the worst eating habits have become a serious health problem in this modern era. From my perspective, the policy of food business is a possible solution for dealing with this issue.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: Mc donald in Indonesia; for example, providing many variants menu which are designed for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to variants and menu
in order that helping people to avoid unhealthy foods.
in order to help people avoid unhealthy foods.
This can be attributed that the socialization is less effective in recent days
Description: "attribute sth. to sth." for example: he attributed the firm's success to the efforts of the managing director
flaws:
this is not so closely related to the topic:
'In a word, the worst eating habits have become a serious health problem in this modern era.'
----------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 338 350
No. of Characters: 1682 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.288 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.976 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.697 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 84 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.125 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.499 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.327 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.521 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.067 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 445, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'variants'' or 'variant's'?
Suggestion: variants'; variant's
... Indonesia; for example, providing many variants menu which are designed for breakfast, ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 371, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to fast'
Suggestion: to fast
... three-fourths of people tend to choose fast food restaurants due to a few option of...
^^^^
Line 5, column 402, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun option seems to be countable; consider using: 'few options'.
Suggestion: few options
...o choose fast food restaurants due to a few option of healthy food in their office areas; ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'besides', 'but', 'consequently', 'however', 'if', 'so', 'well', 'for example', 'in contrast', 'such as', 'as well as']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.277628032345 0.247107183377 112% => OK
Verbs: 0.142857142857 0.155533422707 92% => OK
Adjectives: 0.10781671159 0.0946595960268 114% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0458221024259 0.0501214627716 91% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0269541778976 0.0437548338989 62% => OK
Prepositions: 0.126684636119 0.122226691241 104% => OK
Participles: 0.0458221024259 0.0403226058552 114% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.77837746251 2.80594681477 99% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0215633423181 0.0326793684256 66% => OK
Particles: 0.00269541778976 0.00163938923432 164% => OK
Determiners: 0.102425876011 0.0861772015684 119% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0161725067385 0.021408717616 76% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00808625336927 0.011925033212 68% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2063.0 1933.35771543 107% => OK
No of words: 338.0 316.048096192 107% => OK
Chars per words: 6.10355029586 6.12580529183 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28774723029 4.20517956788 102% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.387573964497 0.374742101984 103% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.257396449704 0.28420135186 91% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.195266272189 0.203846283523 96% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.12426035503 0.137316102897 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77837746251 2.80594681477 99% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 176.037074148 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.556213017751 0.56093040696 99% => OK
Word variations: 60.6686305925 60.7387585426 100% => OK
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0891783567 99% => OK
Sentence length: 21.125 20.7743622355 102% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.8591630241 49.517814964 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.9375 127.492653851 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.125 20.7743622355 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.75 0.814263465372 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38877755511 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 3.99599198397 75% => OK
Readability: 46.8646449704 49.1944974215 95% => OK
Elegance: 2.0875 1.69124875643 123% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.36055367978 0.332605444948 108% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.097975477458 0.102741220458 95% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0651729869813 0.0668466124924 97% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.510298644039 0.534860350844 95% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.145158650694 0.148594505496 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.143479879812 0.134430193775 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0937975585808 0.0742795772207 126% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.343143235376 0.324371583561 106% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0597762235465 0.0638462369009 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.256264842054 0.228012699653 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0706249268087 0.058150111329 121% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.68436873747 58% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.9879759519 176% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.41683366733 117% => OK
Positive topic words: 5.0 5.90881763527 85% => OK
Negative topic words: 7.0 2.5751503006 272% => OK
Neutral topic words: 4.0 1.9629258517 204% => OK
Total topic words: 16.0 10.4468937876 153% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
---------------------
Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.