Some people become famous when they are at a young age Do you think this is positive or negative

Essay topics:

Some people become famous when they are at a young age. Do you think this is positive or negative?

The technology advancement has provided several communication tools which lead to becoming famous more common than past decades. Today young people or even teenagers could be famous while it was not common until two decades ago. Some people think it is beneficial very young people while some may reckon it is detrimental for them, I mostly agree with the former group. I will discuss both views and then I will express my opinion.
The group that believes being young famous is not a good thing present different reasons. Firstly, they reckon the famous could be an obstacle for their education. As they attract several people they could not focus on their education. Also, they can earn a lot of money by taking advantage of their popularity and they may not have any reason for education to get a job. Another reason could be the potential of danger for celebrities. Although becoming famous could have a lot benefits such as wealth and respect, it also attracts criminals to mug celebrities. As an example, Youtubers, the persons that produce video clip and broadcast on youtube, try to hide their living location and their families from viewers.
On the other hand, some believe being celebrities is excellent and they count several reasons. Firstly, they state popularity bring wealth and money is not a bad thing. They say if they do not worry about expenses they could follow their appetite freely. It leads to advancement in their job. Working for peace and green earth is another benefit of being celebrity. For instance, a teenager girl Gerth is one of person that work in this purpose. She attracts a lot of attention about reducing greenhouse emission around the world. I believe being celebrity for teenager could be a good thing and they easily work on some subjects that was not possible last decades.
In conclusion, I believe although famous could have some disadvantages for teenagers, the benefits are more greater and they can focus on their favorite fields if hey wish.

Votes
Average: 6.1 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 164, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...uld be an obstacle for their education. As they attract several people they could ...
^^
Line 4, column 104, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'greater' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: greater
...antages for teenagers, the benefits are more greater and they can focus on their favorite fi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, if, may, so, then, while, for instance, in conclusion, such as, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 13.1623246493 137% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 7.85571142285 178% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 10.4138276553 106% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 7.30460921844 68% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 38.0 24.0651302605 158% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 27.0 41.998997996 64% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.3376753507 108% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1659.0 1615.20841683 103% => OK
No of words: 336.0 315.596192385 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9375 5.12529762239 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28139028586 4.20363070211 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5218275433 2.80592935109 90% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 176.041082164 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.535714285714 0.561755894193 95% => OK
syllable_count: 510.3 506.74238477 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 5.43587174349 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 5.0 2.52805611222 198% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 16.0721442886 124% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.2975951904 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.9220202737 49.4020404114 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 82.95 106.682146367 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.8 20.7667163134 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.15 7.06120827912 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.4128256513 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.208827855342 0.244688304435 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0652129606228 0.084324248473 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.054908517963 0.0667982634062 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.134972602457 0.151304729494 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0392950210112 0.056905535591 69% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 13.0946893788 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 50.2224549098 127% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 11.3001002004 74% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 12.4159519038 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.63 8.58950901804 89% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 78.4519038076 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.1190380762 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.