Some people believe that schools should only teach children subjects which are beneficial to their future career and therefore other subjects such as music and sports are not important. Do you agree or disagree?
It is true that children should be taught subjects which can apply to their future career, but music and sports also very important for the development of our children. Therefore, I totally disagree with the idea that schools should only focus on subjects which are useful for students'career and leave music and sports behind.
There is a very important reasons why schools need to teach children subjects that relate to their future career. Nowaday, with the rapid development of science and technology, jobs for manual labours who don't need to be trained in schools are fewer and fewer. Therefore, if children want to have good jobs in the future, they needs to have necessary knowledge and skill in some specific areas before joining labour market. It means that schools have responsibility to teach them beneficial knowledge and skills of the future career. In present, Vietnam has to establish new subjects in school to approach future jobs of students because the government realize that the previous subjects is out of date and can't not equip children enough skills and knowledge to deal with current jobs.
Beside teaching students what are beneficial to their future job, schools also need to educate students about music and sports. Music was create to help people to enjoy their life, to connect with others all over the world, to express the peaceful message,…. Music is such a common language of human all over the world. What would happen if we can't understand this kind of language? Our life must be insufficient. And so important are the sports in our life too. This subject not only is good for our health, but also become a way to relax after hard working hours. My father often go to sport center to play badminton, which make him definitely more healthy as well as relieving strees by meeting other people having same hobby. On the other hand, we can figure out that knowing about music and sports is also very helpful for our jobs because we can apply this knowledge to many field of work. When a marketer can compose some songs, he is more likely to succeed with his advertising campain by combining his marketing skills and composing skills.
To conclude, schools should have responsibility to teach children both subjects that relate directly to their future career and subjects such as music and sports. In this way, students will be fully educated and their ability will be optimized to pursue their purpose.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 205, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...technology, jobs for manual labours who dont need to be trained in schools are fewer...
^^^^
Line 2, column 327, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'need'
Suggestion: need
...t to have good jobs in the future, they needs to have necessary knowledge and skill i...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 707, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...he previous subjects is out of date and cant not equip children enough skills and kn...
^^^^
Line 3, column 139, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'created'.
Suggestion: created
...dents about music and sports. Music was create to help people to enjoy their life, to ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 256, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , …
...e world, to express the peaceful message,…. Music is such a common language of hum...
^^
Line 3, column 345, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...over the world. What would happen if we cant understand this kind of language? Our l...
^^^^
Line 3, column 877, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun field seems to be countable; consider using: 'many fields'.
Suggestion: many fields
... because we can apply this knowledge to many field of work. When a marketer can compose so...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, so, therefore, well, as to, kind of, such as, as well as, it is true, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 13.1623246493 129% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 7.85571142285 178% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 10.4138276553 173% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 7.30460921844 164% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 24.0651302605 150% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 41.998997996 138% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.3376753507 48% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2033.0 1615.20841683 126% => OK
No of words: 413.0 315.596192385 131% => OK
Chars per words: 4.92251815981 5.12529762239 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50803742585 4.20363070211 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.44717178691 2.80592935109 87% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 176.041082164 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.510895883777 0.561755894193 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 612.0 506.74238477 121% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 5.43587174349 166% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 0.809619238477 371% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.76152304609 168% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 16.0721442886 118% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.4023291883 49.4020404114 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.0 106.682146367 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7368421053 20.7667163134 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.36842105263 7.06120827912 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.01903807615 139% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.67935871743 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 3.4128256513 176% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.381100460244 0.244688304435 156% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.120326398531 0.084324248473 143% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.110098344418 0.0667982634062 165% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.266152048041 0.151304729494 176% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0691065683549 0.056905535591 121% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 13.0946893788 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 50.2224549098 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 11.3001002004 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.26 12.4159519038 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.55 8.58950901804 88% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 78.4519038076 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 9.78957915832 138% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.