Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing videogames

Because video games are becoming more popular with children than ever, many parents express their worries about whether or not their children should spend time outdoors instead of playing games. I believe that video games are good, but only in moderation.

Engaging in outdoor activities is always good for children for various reasons. Outdoor activities are better than video games for both their physical health and morals. Playing video games means looking at high-contrast screens for an extended period, which is damaging to children’s eyes. Also, today’s games involve blatant violence, which can distort their moral beliefs.  Secondly, doing outdoor activities is a way to connect with their neighborhood. For example, when hanging outdoors, like playing soccer, children can develop their communication skills between their playmates and a sense of belonging with that community.

However, that is not to say that video games are not important for child development. Firstly, video games teach children technology fluency, which is a skill essential in the current society. For example, many children who play video games grow up being familiar with computer hardware and keyboard shortcuts. These skills would come in handy for them in the future. Secondly, I believe parents should not prevent children from playing video games as these games can serve as career inspirations. For example, children can be interested in the storyline or the graphic design of games and be motivated to become pro-gamers or game developers.
In conclusion, the benefits of hanging outdoors are undeniable for child development. However, I believe that, in some cases, allowing children to engage in video games can also be important. Parents should understand that moderation is the key in both types of activities.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 113, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...any parents express their worries about whether or not their children should spend time outdoo...
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Line 1, column 257, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...games are good, but only in moderation. Engaging in outdoor activities is always...
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Line 3, column 376, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
..., which can distort their moral beliefs.  Secondly, doing outdoor activities is a ...
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Line 3, column 633, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sense of belonging with that community. However, that is not to say that video g...
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Line 5, column 645, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o become pro-gamers or game developers. In conclusion, the benefits of hanging o...
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Line 6, column 275, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...is the key in both types of activities.
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, look, second, secondly, so, for example, in conclusion, in some cases

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 13.1623246493 114% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 10.4138276553 77% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 7.30460921844 151% => OK
Pronoun: 19.0 24.0651302605 79% => OK
Preposition: 30.0 41.998997996 71% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1542.0 1615.20841683 95% => OK
No of words: 281.0 315.596192385 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.48754448399 5.12529762239 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.09427095027 4.20363070211 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69927828617 2.80592935109 96% => OK
Unique words: 154.0 176.041082164 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.548042704626 0.561755894193 98% => OK
syllable_count: 456.3 506.74238477 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.2975951904 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.6614087464 49.4020404114 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.375 106.682146367 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.5625 20.7667163134 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.5625 7.06120827912 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.01903807615 120% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.282589195301 0.244688304435 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.105691178712 0.084324248473 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0795673383173 0.0667982634062 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.179036570357 0.151304729494 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0440948372668 0.056905535591 77% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 13.0946893788 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 50.2224549098 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 11.3001002004 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.27 12.4159519038 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.86 8.58950901804 103% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 78.4519038076 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 9.78957915832 82% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.1190380762 87% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.