Some young people have free time in the evenings after school or on days off from school. Which of the
following activities would be most beneficial for young people (ages 14-18) to do in their spare time?
Why?
- Gaining practical work experience either at a part time job or by volunteering in the community
-Learning to play a sport
- Learning to play a musical instrument
We are living in a sophisticated age which leisure time plays a significant role in individual’s life. People are always trying to make their lives more convenient, delightful and purposeful. Some people believe that young people having 14-18 years old should learn to play a sport or a musical instrument, while others are convinced that these children should take a part-time job or participate in a volunteer work. After carefully pondering it from several aspects, I strongly agree with the latter idea. There are some reasons, the most outstanding of which will be discussed in the ensuing paragraphs.
First of all, undoubtedly, experience is a significant as well as fundamental parts of people’ life. Gaining knowledge through practical works expand young people’s horizon and also they are able to obtain better insight about their future. As a matter of fact, they are supposed to attend the society in the near future which participating in these programs bring them several lucrative consequences. For example, they learn how to manage their issues, how to collaborate with their friends and also how to follow something to get a suitable result. To illustrate this fact, on only needs to refer to the number of prosperous people participating in these programs in order to gain valuable experiences. Although participating in these program may take their time, what results from doing these works are to increase their ability to take the responsibility of what they do. The noteworthy intelligible results, which conducted in our country, show that the high percentage of students taking part-time job, are one who could find a decent job in the future due to having precious experience.
The second reason why I agree with it is that, obviously, taking part-time job provides an opportunity for the young students who are in this epoch to accumulate a hoard of money. The money obtained by taking part-time job enables student to pay their way. Since, some parents cannot afford to enroll their children in a great school, they are able to go to the best schools to follow their goals by the obtained money from taking part-time job. Furthermore, this job may allow them to continue their study at abroad because oversea universities are prestigious that after graduation they will be an experienced and knowledgeable person. Hence, if I were to be a determiner in our government, I would have established a center to provide part-time job for students who are in this period. In addition to aforementioned notes, there is a well-known proverb in Persian, the equivalent of which in English may sound like this” the more you gain money by taking part-time job, the more you would make your future better and successful”.
To make a long story short, no one can deny the enormous positive effect of taking part-time job or participating in a volunteer’s work. Not only are students in this epoch able to enhance their knowledge and experience, but also they could save money for what they have in their mind. For this reason, I highly recommended that every student experience these programs even for one time.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 180, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...s epoch to accumulate a hoard of money. The money obtained by taking part-time job ...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, hence, if, may, second, so, well, while, for example, in addition, as a matter of fact, as well as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 13.1623246493 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 7.85571142285 165% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 10.4138276553 96% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 7.30460921844 192% => OK
Pronoun: 54.0 24.0651302605 224% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 74.0 41.998997996 176% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.3376753507 108% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2642.0 1615.20841683 164% => OK
No of words: 518.0 315.596192385 164% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10038610039 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77070365392 4.20363070211 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98006975258 2.80592935109 106% => OK
Unique words: 263.0 176.041082164 149% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.507722007722 0.561755894193 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 833.4 506.74238477 164% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 7.0 2.52805611222 277% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 5.0 2.10420841683 238% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 16.0721442886 131% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.2975951904 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.4722021537 49.4020404114 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.80952381 106.682146367 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.6666666667 20.7667163134 119% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.80952380952 7.06120827912 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 8.67935871743 207% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.297087677988 0.244688304435 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0915912180473 0.084324248473 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0452551604455 0.0667982634062 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.192217602424 0.151304729494 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0464705636697 0.056905535591 82% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 13.0946893788 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 50.2224549098 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 12.4159519038 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.48 8.58950901804 99% => OK
difficult_words: 120.0 78.4519038076 153% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 9.78957915832 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.1190380762 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.