Topic 23 : nowadays a large amount of advertising aiming at children should be banned because of its negative effects. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Essay topics:

Topic 23 : nowadays a large amount of advertising aiming at children should be banned because of its negative effects. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, commercial advertisements aiming at children have proliferated in a variety of television channels, websites, magazines, etc. While some people claim that this trend help popularize new good that enhance people’s living standard, I am of the opinion that the banning of these advertisement is necessary due to its adverse impacts on children.
On the one hand, there is a common belief that commercial advertising would introduce new and worthwhile products to the public. People may argue that in the past, a number of useful products gained popularity thanks to advertising such as the success story of an online-study software which is believed to help thousands of financial disadvantaged children achieve invaluable knowledge without paying a large amount of fees. Moreover, these advertisers might offer some learning opportunities for children by sending meaningful contents in their advertisements. For example, healthy food advertised in a right way might encourage children follow a more balance diet.
On the other hand, I would firmly that advertising may lead to drastic consequences that far outweigh their merits. One of the main drawbacks is that young customers often fall victim to some advertising campaigns. This is primarily because conglomerates often exaggerate the usefulness of a few small features in attempt to boost children demand on their products. For instance, the latest robot of a famous company manufactured toys for children showed no differences from its predecessors except for slightly faster processor. However, marketers were skillful enough to persuade their targeted customers who mainly were children that the older robot was obsolete and need to be upgraded to the newest version. The saturated and competitive market force producers forget their mission to bring positive effects but give preference to earn profits.
In conclusion, although there are some benefits advertising might bring to children, I argue that government should not underestimate its disadvantages and take some actions by banning these harmful advertisements.

Votes
Average: 8.9 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 286, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this advertisement' or 'these advertisements'?
Suggestion: this advertisement; these advertisements
...I am of the opinion that the banning of these advertisement is necessary due to its adverse impacts...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 600, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a right way" with adverb for "right"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...s. For example, healthy food advertised in a right way might encourage children follow a more ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, may, moreover, so, while, except for, for example, for instance, in conclusion, such as, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 10.4138276553 48% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 7.30460921844 164% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 24.0651302605 108% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 41.998997996 95% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1784.0 1615.20841683 110% => OK
No of words: 315.0 315.596192385 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.66349206349 5.12529762239 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.21286593061 4.20363070211 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.12630562295 2.80592935109 111% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 176.041082164 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.638095238095 0.561755894193 114% => OK
syllable_count: 551.7 506.74238477 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.60771543086 112% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.2975951904 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.7313060928 49.4020404114 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 137.230769231 106.682146367 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.2307692308 20.7667163134 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.53846153846 7.06120827912 135% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.183122498867 0.244688304435 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0607819126644 0.084324248473 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0362110943416 0.0667982634062 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.116161725907 0.151304729494 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0239891510904 0.056905535591 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.3 13.0946893788 132% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 30.2 50.2224549098 60% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 11.3001002004 133% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.84 12.4159519038 128% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.29 8.58950901804 120% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 78.4519038076 139% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 9.78957915832 158% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.1190380762 115% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 10.7795591182 148% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.