In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything they try hard enough.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?
In some societies people attribute success to a desperate attempt. They maintain this notion by conveying it to the young generation as a strong belief shaping their mind. Although this paradigm would bring some advantages in its wake, in my opinion, the undeniable drawbacks would outweigh any of them.
The positive impacts of this opinion can be evaluated from two different scales: the individuals and society. At the first side, this idea would definitely lead to more hard working, smart and obedient children who every parent is proud of them. Instead of facing drug addiction, wasting time, and sexual matters, as every teenager challenge, these youths attempt their best to build their future by hard working and studying. This will culminate in experts who build a booming economy and strong society in the next level. Considering Japan as a strong illustration, this developed country which is one of the pioneers of the technology world, would never face such an achievement unless by the attempts of different generations of its youths.
Looking at the other side of the spectrum, there are drawbacks would definitely exert a negative influence over both the individuals and society. If children face failure, they would feel a sense of emptiness and useless as they consider themselves guilty for all issues and problems. Depression and panic attacks can be mentioned as some of the consequences of such belief which has an ultimate effect on both physical and mental health. In order to avoid such feelings, according to the common culture, they put themselves in a vicious circle by trying to fulfil achievements as much as possible by limiting themselves from leisure time, hobbies and interests. In spite of good academic grades and a broad knowledge, they suffer loneliness, communicational problems, and … The high suicide rate and depression struggled in some societies are the ultimate results of such wrong approach.
By way of conclusion, its generally true that successfulness is the fruit of hardworking. However, there are many negative aspects through this approach which suicide and depression are just few of them. So, I believe it shouldn’t be a core belief implanted in children’s mind as the only way of success.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 334, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...n and panic attacks can be mentioned as some of the consequences of such belief which has a...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, look, so, in my opinion, in spite of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 10.4138276553 144% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 7.30460921844 82% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 24.0651302605 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 48.0 41.998997996 114% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.3376753507 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1893.0 1615.20841683 117% => OK
No of words: 364.0 315.596192385 115% => OK
Chars per words: 5.20054945055 5.12529762239 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36792674256 4.20363070211 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84363220425 2.80592935109 101% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 176.041082164 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.585164835165 0.561755894193 104% => OK
syllable_count: 576.0 506.74238477 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 5.43587174349 184% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.76152304609 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.2975951904 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.1234983532 49.4020404114 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.3125 106.682146367 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.75 20.7667163134 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.8125 7.06120827912 54% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.9879759519 150% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.204094166965 0.244688304435 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0592989092899 0.084324248473 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0413502199581 0.0667982634062 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113181045471 0.151304729494 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0390952920164 0.056905535591 69% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 13.0946893788 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 50.2224549098 98% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 11.3001002004 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.18 12.4159519038 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.46 8.58950901804 110% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 78.4519038076 139% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.1190380762 107% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.