agree or not? the negative effects of televisions shows and movies on young people are more than their positive effects
Th entertainment industry is one of the most important industries which can show the culture and origin of countries, and their players can have a deep effect on the people. Besides all positive effects which television shows and idols can have, there are some negative effects which make the role of the entertainment industry in societies very arguable. Some people believe these shows have more negative effects than the positive ones, and I agree with them. I will elaborate on my opinion with the following reasons.
First and foremost, most of the movies try to show luxury lives and how people can gain money fast, even if it is not from a legal way. By having a glance at top movies made in last decade, all can realize that one of the common features in all of them is luxury cars and houses and how some people could get rich easily by gambling. If young people choose these life styles as their goal, they will eventually commit some crimes which cause lots of problems for them in the future. Moreover, young people by watching all expensive objects in movies, cannot appreciate their simple lives, and it may lead to having some negative opinions about themselves. As an example, I can mention my brother. He is addicted to the Hollywood and watch all the movies made by big movie companies. As a result of watching them, he always thinks and talks about most new brand cars and do not appreciate the hard work of our father at all. He believes all people should live like movie stars, and a normal or mediocre life cannot make him satisfied.
Second, most of the movie players use bad words which are not accepted in any of societies, and they can put a bad effect on youngster. The main concept of most recent movies is speed, anger and war which make movie producers and players to use lots of bad words. The use of all these negative and meaningless words can result in a rude and impolite young population which we see at the present. Moreover, the uncontrolled use of these bad words can lead to some arguments among people which cause some other problems as a consequence. For instance, I know a young boy who spends lots of his time watching various television shows. Each time I contact him, he uses lots of bad phrases which are not even aware of their meaning. Last year, he said some of these rude words to his teacher, and consequently he got fired from his school. In my view, this guy is not the only one who uses tons of negative words in his daily life as a result of watching movies, and we can expand this problem to almost all the young people in the world.
To sum up, movies and TV shows can play a strong role in educating people and making them aware of the things happening around them. But, the negative effects they have on the young population is much more than their good point. They take the chance of loving normal lives from people and encourage them toward fancy lives. Additionally they teach lots of impolite words to people which brings tons of problems with themselves. Based on these justifications, my conviction is that the negative effect of the entertainment industry is more than its positive effects.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 268, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n features in all of them is luxury cars and houses and how some people could get...
^^
Line 10, column 325, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Additionally,
... and encourage them toward fancy lives. Additionally they teach lots of impolite words to pe...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, consequently, first, if, may, moreover, second, so, for instance, as a result, in my view, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 9.8082437276 184% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 13.8261648746 174% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 72.0 52.1666666667 138% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2608.0 1977.66487455 132% => OK
No of words: 565.0 407.700716846 139% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.61592920354 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.87542086881 4.48103885553 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.40252692826 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 251.0 212.727598566 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.444247787611 0.524837075471 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 811.8 618.680645161 131% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.0715036824 48.9658058833 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.32 100.406767564 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.6 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.56 5.45110844103 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 3.85842293907 311% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.343776527983 0.236089414692 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103914869787 0.076458572812 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.109198765495 0.0737576698707 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.24849390405 0.150856017488 165% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.109266822853 0.0645574589148 169% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 58.1214874552 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.81 10.9000537634 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.33 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 86.8835125448 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.