allocated budget on the activities
It as an undeniable fact that the amount of allocated budget on the activities in a country plays a significantly vital role in those activities prosperous. Government leaders and politicians all around the world seek to opt the best balance in dedicating money to various activities. In this regard, some people are of the opinion that the government should devote more money in order to support the art rather than sports. Personally, I agree with this recommendation owing to some reasons, in what follows, two of which will be discussed.
The first reason worth mentioning is the unbalanced amount of money that the vast majority of the governments allocate for both arts and sports. That is to say, earning more money through the state-sponsored athletics, governments rarely spend money on arts and instead, dedicate their budget to the sports. However, it goes without saying that as long as a government does not devote an acceptable amount of budget to arts, it will not benefit through it. Accordingly, the reason that arts and artist do not bring money, as well as the athletes, is the lack of budget and support through the government. To clarify, in my country football players, and especially the one who attends to Olympics earn a considerable amount of money for their games and government always supports them thoroughly since they bring more money by commercials. Nevertheless, artists can prove profitable to the countries' finance, as well, provided they get a fair amount of money.
The other reason which deserves to be mentioned is that arts contribute to more positive influences on the society rather than sports. To be more specific, nowadays, due to the negative consequences of the various disasters and occurrences all across the world, people demand more conditions to feel inspired and enthusiastic. Obviously, arts and artists can provide this positive morale to the public much more than sports if they get support from the government. To put this into a more vivid picture, according to a conducted research in my town, during the economic crisis and inflation three years ago, people had the tendency to participate in artistic activities and prefer to got to concerts, theatres, and movies, to mention but few, more than watching or engaging in sports. Therefore, this result vividly illustrated that the government should pay more attention to arts and dedicate more money for it because people need these activities more than the sports in harsh situations, which are rapidly occurring today.
In conclusion, allocating more money to support the arts rather than athletics is a wise approach for a government. Because, arts are unfairly delivering restricted budges since artists do not bring profits as well as the athletes; and moreover, the more a government spends money on the arts, the better people's morale and motivation become in the severe conditions.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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2022-06-25 | faraidoon.azimi310@gmail.com | 60 | view |
2021-02-11 | Bita-pnh | 73 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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It as an undeniable fact that the amount...
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Suggestion:
...llows, two of which will be discussed. The first reason worth mentioning is the...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...vided they get a fair amount of money. The other reason which deserves to be me...
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Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'conducted research'.
Suggestion: conducted research
...into a more vivid picture, according to a conducted research in my town, during the economic crisis ...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...ns, which are rapidly occurring today. In conclusion, allocating more money to ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, but, first, however, if, moreover, nevertheless, so, therefore, thus, well, in conclusion, as well as, that is to say
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 43.0788530466 67% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 8.0752688172 198% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2432.0 1977.66487455 123% => OK
No of words: 472.0 407.700716846 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.15254237288 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6610686524 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85723955391 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.497881355932 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 748.8 618.680645161 121% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 56.3037363471 48.9658058833 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.058823529 100.406767564 142% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.7647058824 20.6045352989 135% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.64705882353 5.45110844103 140% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.138871794228 0.236089414692 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0563369272212 0.076458572812 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.102414643062 0.0737576698707 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0971259177293 0.150856017488 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0636908024544 0.0645574589148 99% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.7 11.7677419355 142% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 58.1214874552 76% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.89 10.9000537634 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.96 8.01818996416 112% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 86.8835125448 137% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.