Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children rely too much on
technology, such as computers, smart phones, as well as video games for fun and entertainment.
Playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for children’s development.
With the advent of technology through the last decades, it is an unprecedented consequence that we face new social issues such as children’s modern types of playing. Some people believe this is a threat for our culture our health condition of the children. However, some other may take issue with this idea according to their openness to new challenges. From my vantage point, it is crucial for children and young people to use novel technologies but in the right way. Through the what follows below, I will delve into my most outstanding rationales.
First and the foremost reason, according to the flourishing usage of technology, is that it is essential for young people to be updated, and as we consider the video games as a gateway of being adroit toward the computer skills, it assists them. Understanding the negative effects of such activities, the very best of job rankings, nowadays, are relies on these skills. For example, startups are very popular today and most of the positions in this kind of business are remote jobs which needs a highly skilled person in computer and technology. Take a personal experience, currently, I am a business developer in a startup team in data industry. Even though I am in a business side of the team not only it needs communicational and negotiation skills, but critically need some computer skills such as graphic designing, working with software to handle commercial challenges. Thanks to my experience in using computers through video games, I have a prominent role in my team now. Accordingly, to being familiar with this type of skill, it is an appropriate way for children.
Secondly, some parents may concern about negative dire consequences of video games and using computer such as obesity and behavioral disorders. However, it is an opportunity for them to choose the right games which encourage and sometimes oblige children to have more physical activities. For example, there are lots of games based on artificial intelligence which only works when the players move their bodies. Needless to say, most of these games are sport and dance that use monumental amount of energy. I, personally, losing some pounds during the seven weeks using dancing games.
To make a long story short, most of the technologies could be considered as a double-bladed sword, which means it is vitally depended on us how to use them. As a personal viewpoint, there are lots of merits in computers and smart phones for children including consolidating technical skills and interactional games. As a recommendation, we should improve our strategies to deal with new technological issues.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, but, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, for example, kind of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 37.0 43.0788530466 86% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2204.0 1977.66487455 111% => OK
No of words: 432.0 407.700716846 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.10185185185 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55901411391 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95800728511 2.67179642975 111% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.541666666667 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 692.1 618.680645161 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.8518265721 48.9658058833 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.2 100.406767564 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6 20.6045352989 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.7 5.45110844103 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.246956709667 0.236089414692 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0732025214407 0.076458572812 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0497028261747 0.0737576698707 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.153575604412 0.150856017488 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0198883134129 0.0645574589148 31% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 11.7677419355 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 58.1214874552 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.3 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.92 8.01818996416 111% => OK
difficult_words: 116.0 86.8835125448 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 78.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.