Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children rely too much on the technology, like computers, smart phones, video games for fun and entertainment. Playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for children’s development.
In the modern era, type of playing plays a crucial role in children development. In this regard, people have always been trying to choose a fun for their children that helps them to develop properly. Some people possess the conviction that playing simpler games or with the counterparts is better for youngsters. I personally take the view that playing simpler games and with friends, affect children development effectively. To substantiate my point of view, the following paragraphs represent a cursory glance at the most outstanding reasons.
First and foremost, in view of sedentary lifestyles of children, they are more vulnerable to physical health problems. It goes without saying that the more children paly sedentary games such as video games, the more they will face physical issues. These illnesses have a bearing on the lives of both parents and children and will cause less development for children. My own experience is a case in point. When I was a child, I played video games constantly to fill my leisure times. As time elapsed, I faced some physical problems such as obesity, so my parents decided to visit a doctor. As my doctor mentioned, obesity was one of the biggest issues for my development. Therefore, he suggested that my parents prevented me form playing video games. Out of his advice, I did not play such sedentary games anymore, and after two months, I was healthier than before. Had I not played video games to such an extent, I would not have faced obesity, and I would have developed better probably.
The second noteworthy reason to be mentioned is that playing outside with peers will provide children with the golden opportunity to socialize with others and make new friends. It is axiomatic that making friends help children throw their stresses away, so they will develop better. These children will be so happy that can they can stay focused on their lessons and will be capable of learning various new things with remarkable ease. To put it another way, Children who play with their friends experience neither loneliness nor stress. Based on the research conducted in my country in 2020, the factors that affected children’s development were analyzed. The results revealed that one of the most significant factors was socializing with other children. The group of children who spend their time on communicating with youngsters with different culture and background, based on the research’s results, were more likely to develop faster over the course of time and be more successful in the future.
In short, all the aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that playing simpler toys and with other children is a more prudent course of action due to the fact that not only does it prevent children from facing physical health problems, but also it help children make new friends and relieve their stresses, both of which will lead to a better and faster development. However, that was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are some other reasons and examples, which are not mentioned above. Finally, it is suggested that parents encourage their children to go out and play with others so that they could reduce their tensions and be happier.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 258, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'helps'?
Suggestion: helps
...g physical health problems, but also it help children make new friends and relieve t...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, however, if, second, so, therefore, in short, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.0286738351 181% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2668.0 1977.66487455 135% => OK
No of words: 531.0 407.700716846 130% => OK
Chars per words: 5.02448210923 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80035803286 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68389663843 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 259.0 212.727598566 122% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.487758945386 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 802.8 618.680645161 130% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.2600221309 48.9658058833 129% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.72 100.406767564 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.24 20.6045352989 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.6 5.45110844103 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.347283047999 0.236089414692 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.105783049273 0.076458572812 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0702010167448 0.0737576698707 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.229531587103 0.150856017488 152% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0528312456279 0.0645574589148 82% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 11.7677419355 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.31 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 122.0 86.8835125448 140% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.