Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nobody can overlook the fact that in this sophisticated, and progressive world, where we live, the governments` supports from each society issues play a pivotal role in the quality of social lives. While some people hold the opinion that the government should invest more money on arts, some others stand at the other end of the continuum and believe that they should spend more on Olympic teams` support. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the latter group, and the justifications that substantiate my point of view are elaborated hereupon.
To begin with, the policy-makers encourage people to pay more attention to sports by supporting the Olympic teams. As a result, the public physical health improves. In other words, when people understand the government dedications` to sports teams, they deduce the importance of sports. To be more specific, they will become enthusiastic about exercising, and in this way, their physical health will be guaranteed. For example, after all of the politicians` support from our country`s volleyball team, a considerable amount of my classmates became eager to play volleyball every evening at school. Consequently, some physical problems like obesity were resolved among my schoolmates.
Furthermore, as a result of my previous reason, when people do more exercise and become physically healthier, the treatment`s expenses decrease at a high degree. To be more specific, people less become sick than before; therefore, most of the disease coming from a sedentary lifestyle would not take over them. For instance, most of our elderly suffer from high blood pressure, which is the result of motionless life; however, if they do some sports, they will get rid of that disease. Consequently, the government does not have to pay a significant amount of money on curing the diseases, and in this way, they can save a great amount of money and spend that on the other social lives` fields.
In a nutshell, having the aforementioned reasons into account, I am of the opinion that the government should invest more in supporting sports teams rather than art. This approach not only assures public health but also will decrease government expenses.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 440, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
... will be guaranteed. For example, after all of the politicians' support from our coun...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y were resolved among my schoolmates. Furthermore, as a result of my previous ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, furthermore, however, if, look, so, therefore, thus, while, after all, for example, for instance, as a result, in other words, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 15.1003584229 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 43.0788530466 67% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1882.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 354.0 407.700716846 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.31638418079 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33761313653 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.11258033483 2.67179642975 116% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 212.727598566 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.556497175141 0.524837075471 106% => OK
syllable_count: 575.1 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.5866461194 48.9658058833 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.466666667 100.406767564 125% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6 20.6045352989 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.0 5.45110844103 202% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.215234905959 0.236089414692 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0725364787851 0.076458572812 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0723882851769 0.0737576698707 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.148605262384 0.150856017488 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0479536258757 0.0645574589148 74% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 11.7677419355 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 58.1214874552 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 10.9000537634 127% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.52 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 86.8835125448 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.