Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
No one can deny that there are both positive and negative aspects as to whether younger generations benefit from the opinions of famous celebrities such as famous entertainers and athletes. If I were forced to choose, I would definitely say that younger individuals significantly gain from activities of famous celebrities. It is my firm belief for a number of reasons, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs.
First of all, adolescents are easily influenced by the actions of their favorite celebrities. Although older people like to follow famous celebrities, they are not that easily influenced by them. On the contrary, younger children usually try to imitate their favorite actors or actresses and believe their words. I have to admit that my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by my own personal experience. I remember, when I was a child, I used to hate milk and my mom used to try a lot to make me drink milk. At that time, my favorite sportsman was Sachin Tendulkar, a famous cricketer who used to advertise about the benefits of drinking milk. My mom used to make me watch that advertisement so that I could drink milk with no drama. If I had watched any other advertisement, I would have not drank milk. As a result, I think younger people are more attracted to the sayings of famous athletes compared to elder people.
Secondly, many younger people become successful listening to stories of respectful famous people. Many children admire some famous celebrities and always think about them and those work to become more successful. On the other hand, older people might have achieved what they want so they might not get influenced by the famous stars. Drawing from my own experience, I always read and listen to great books of famous people like Mahatma Gandhi and many others during my lunch or free time. Whenever, I feel low and stressed, I read those books which make me feel better and stay on my goal. If I had read books about some other person, I would have forgot about my dream and might not reach my goal. Therefore, I think stories of great people will definitely help young people to achieve their goals.
To sum up, I strongly believe that kids obtain more benefits from following the path of famous stars despite old people. This is due to the reasons that they will be influenced by their favorite stars and they will become successful knowing those great stories.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 67, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
... are both positive and negative aspects as to whether younger generations benefit from the op...
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Line 1, column 130, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrities'.
Suggestion: celebrities
...enerations benefit from the opinions of famous celebrities such as famous entertainers and athlete...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 305, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrities'.
Suggestion: celebrities
...s significantly gain from activities of famous celebrities. It is my firm belief for a number of r...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 132, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrities'.
Suggestion: celebrities
...s. Although older people like to follow famous celebrities, they are not that easily influenced by...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 125, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrities'.
Suggestion: celebrities
...amous people. Many children admire some famous celebrities and always think about them and those w...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 649, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'forgotten'.
Suggestion: forgotten
...s about some other person, I would have forgot about my dream and might not reach my g...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, as to, i feel, i think, such as, as a result, first of all, on the contrary, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 60.0 43.0788530466 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2028.0 1977.66487455 103% => OK
No of words: 419.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84009546539 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52432199235 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64645413807 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.494033412888 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 634.5 618.680645161 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 24.7615384588 48.9658058833 51% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 96.5714285714 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9523809524 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.09523809524 5.45110844103 130% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.211089369818 0.236089414692 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0680736688276 0.076458572812 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0595335770095 0.0737576698707 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.132280519214 0.150856017488 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0190881408592 0.0645574589148 30% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 11.7677419355 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.79 10.9000537634 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.67 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 86.8835125448 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.