Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? “People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment, and not enough time on more serious duties and obligations.” Use details and examples to support your answer
When it comes to question whether people today spend too much on personal enjoyment and hobbies, everybody has its own perspective depends on his/her experiences, observations, etc. From my viewpoint, people today spend more time on leisure, and not enough time on more serious duties. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
The first reason that supports my perspective is concerned with the fact that today's incomes of people increases, so people have more money to spend on enjoyment. In fact, with development in technology, the salaries of people are more than the past, and on the other hand, equipment for entertainment is more than in the past. Therefore people have many opportunities to enjoy time and life. A relevant study which was conducted in France indicates that people who live in Paris have more time for leisure and spend more time than the past for personal hobbies. Because of the incomes of people who live in Paris 40 percent increase relative to the past.
Another noteworthy point to be mentioned is that nowadays people have more free time than in the past. Indeed, many jobs and careers are limited time in hours and limited in works days. My own experience is a compelling example of what I mean. I work for a large investment banking firm where my scheduled workday for nine o’clock to two o’clock, I actually work 5 hours per day for five days a week. So, I have a lot of time every week for hobbies. I Spend time every afternoon in the gym and every weekend I have a travel program.
In conclusion, I believe that people today spend too much time on personal enjoyment, and not enough time on more serious duties and obligations. This is because today incomes of people increases, and because they have more free time than the past.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 329, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...entertainment is more than in the past. Therefore people have many opportunities to enjoy...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 564, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ime than the past for personal hobbies. Because of the incomes of people who live in Pa...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, first, if, so, therefore, i feel, i mean, in conclusion, in fact, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 9.8082437276 10% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 43.0788530466 58% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1502.0 1977.66487455 76% => OK
No of words: 317.0 407.700716846 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.738170347 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.21953715646 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57926515567 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 154.0 212.727598566 72% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.485804416404 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 480.6 618.680645161 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.8751366616 48.9658058833 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.875 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8125 20.6045352989 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.8125 5.45110844103 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.341957209633 0.236089414692 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.131731409414 0.076458572812 172% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.114709645833 0.0737576698707 156% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.254696307727 0.150856017488 169% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0975375281146 0.0645574589148 151% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 11.7677419355 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.21 10.9000537634 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.77 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 86.8835125448 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.