Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In the modern era, due the huge advancement of technology, there are a large number of media which are provided for people in order to spend their time. Young children are not the exception of this fact and they follow this media. The controversial question which arises here is whether, television advertising directed towards young children should not be permitted. When it comes to me, it is my firm conviction that it is a better course of action for both members of th esociety and government to prvent television advertising directed towards young children. To support this, there are several reasons, two of which are goinhg to be aptly explored in the following.
First and foremost, the most prominent reason which comes to my mind is that watchinh TV is a passive activity. Attracting young children by advertisements that are directly for them, make them more intended to spend their time watching television, which results in lower connection with real people and children in their same age. In consequece, children areless likely to be able to develop proper social behavior. Moreover, this advertisement prevent student from spending their time with their parents, so their emotional bonds will not be tighten as well. According to fact that early age is one of the most important period in one's life to gain this kind of abilities, they will be in difficulty in their future life. As an illustration, take the example of two person; one of them has spent his childhood out playingh and interacting with other children, and the other has spent his early age watching televison in home. The first person has learnt the social behavior and benefit from in his whole life, but the latter suffer from basic socila behavior and cannot initiate any relationship.
Furthermore, another noteworthy reason that should be taken into account is that, althogh this advertisements are provided for young children, due to the fact that all activities done by humans suffer from a certain degree of error; they may have some inappropriate contents. Exposure to bad content, brings about a large problems for children and affect their life. For example, in a case of violent, they may develop violence behavior in their life. Needless to say, not only does this behavior affect children's life, but also cause a lot of problems for the government who is responsible of preventing dire consequeces derived by this people.
In short, all the aforementioned reasons lead us to the coclusion that it is a more prudent course of action that television advertising directed towards young children not be allowed. The fact that they are dangerous for their proper growth, coupled with they may bring about some dire repercussion that affect the whole society, is the reason which strengthens my claim.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 70, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...ge advancement of technology, there are a large number of media which are provided for people in ...
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Line 1, column 220, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... exception of this fact and they follow this media. The controversial question which...
^^^^
Line 2, column 633, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
... is one of the most important period in ones life to gain this kind of abilities, th...
^^^^
Line 2, column 768, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'person' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'people', 'persons'.
Suggestion: people; persons
...n illustration, take the example of two person; one of them has spent his childhood ou...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 91, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... be taken into account is that, althogh this advertisements are provided for young c...
^^^^
Line 3, column 322, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'problem'?
Suggestion: problem
...re to bad content, brings about a large problems for children and affect their life. For...
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Line 3, column 633, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... preventing dire consequeces derived by this people. In short, all the aforemention...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, if, may, moreover, so, then, well, for example, in short, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 15.1003584229 166% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.0286738351 172% => OK
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2333.0 1977.66487455 118% => OK
No of words: 462.0 407.700716846 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04978354978 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63618218583 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72807055602 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 212.727598566 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.502164502165 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 716.4 618.680645161 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 53.3359085026 48.9658058833 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.611111111 100.406767564 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.6666666667 20.6045352989 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.33333333333 5.45110844103 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.228887460948 0.236089414692 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0813557057346 0.076458572812 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0721730712759 0.0737576698707 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.156649148019 0.150856017488 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0555819556673 0.0645574589148 86% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 11.7677419355 129% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.31 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 86.8835125448 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.