Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should take several different kinds of jobs before they take a career in a long term.
Jobs, the foundation of a quality life, have been valued and even trigger a heated discussion over what young people should do before taking a career in a long run. Getting prepared for only one job, in some people’s views, is an effective career plan. Contrary to these people’s opinions is my perspective that taking various kind of works, which may take graduates more time to do, is superior, due to contributors to their personal development and professional development.
What must be prioritized is that taking different kinds of works, instead of concentrating on only one job, is beneficial to people’s personal development, by offering them more knowledge and assisting them in making occupational choices. To begin with, it is different kinds of positions that provide people with the access to a bulk of expertise. In detail, by doing assorted works, people can acquire a wide range of knowledge in statistics, programming and management, enlarging their knowledge base; in contrast, such a large quantity of knowledge cannot be obtained when they take only one job. Moreover, never can we ignore the significance of locating various niches to making subsequent career plans. To explain it further, after taking various kinds of works, people will find what they are interested in and what they are expert in, enabling them to hunt for a perfect career; on the other hand, will they pursue a satisfactory job without trying different jobs?
What should be equally worth discussing is that taking a variety of different works, rather than taking only one work, can promote people’s professional development, by honing their interpersonal skills and developing their working skills. To begin with, it is universally acknowledged that after taking different works, people can practice their communication skills. Specifically, only by working in different environments will people come across people from diverse background, such as businessmen and government staffs, with whom they can practice their tactics of socializing; on the contrary, under no circumstances will they interact with such a variety of people if they do not try different works. Additionally, after taking different jobs, people can obtain kinds of practical skills, such as time management skills and multi-tasking skills, which can definitely help them move up a career ladder. To be more specific, a supervisor will place an employee mastering different skills as the candidate of promotion; however, the less skills acquired from different careers an employee has, the less likely he is to be promoted.
Personal development, essential contributors to people’s future success, will be facilitated, if people can take different kinds of jobs before they take a career in a long time. Professional development, the foundation of employees’ future success, will be boosted if people can try several different works before starting their careers. To conclude, only by working in different environments, instead of focusing on only one work, can people reap numerous benefits.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 1042, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun skills is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...he candidate of promotion; however, the less skills acquired from different careers ...
^^^^
Line 13, column 295, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'several'.
Suggestion: several
...cess, will be boosted if people can try several different works before starting their careers. To...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, may, moreover, so, in contrast, kind of, such as, on the contrary, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 9.8082437276 224% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 43.0788530466 72% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 52.1666666667 136% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2623.0 1977.66487455 133% => OK
No of words: 479.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 5.47599164927 4.8611393121 113% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67825486995 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.1015967314 2.67179642975 116% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.475991649269 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 795.6 618.680645161 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 9.59856630824 21% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 19.0 4.94265232975 384% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 20.1344086022 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 66.6862991926 48.9658058833 136% => OK
Chars per sentence: 163.9375 100.406767564 163% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.9375 20.6045352989 145% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.3125 5.45110844103 134% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.364864395766 0.236089414692 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.148069144848 0.076458572812 194% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0798896678975 0.0737576698707 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.262345944294 0.150856017488 174% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0222767719287 0.0645574589148 35% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.4 11.7677419355 165% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.58 58.1214874552 58% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 10.1575268817 156% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.1 10.9000537634 139% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.67 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 86.8835125448 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 10.0537634409 135% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 10.247311828 156% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.