Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, language, science, and history.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Primary school education is one of the founding blocks of a nation's prosperity. I believe young school children do not need to learn art or music in addition to math, language, science, and history.
First, although cultivating artistic tastes brings people spiritual satisfaction, spending time on compulsory courses, such as math, language, science, and history, can benefit young school children more profoundly. As human life expectancy increases, fewer people will leave the workforce and vacate their positions. But at the same time, there will constantly be people entering the workforce, making competition increasingly fierce by year. And this means that people today should demonstrate more appealing qualities to their potential employers to acquire the jobs they want. These desirable qualities are mainly associated with studying at higher-ranking universities. Since many students want to enter those universities, their entrance examinations can be selective. Students will need to solve more complicated questions to show that they meet their academic standards, which would have little to do with their aesthetic tastes. But if young students can devote more time to studying their core courses, they will have better chances of entering popular middle schools with more experienced teachers. Having better teachers teaching them, they could be more likely to pass university entrance examinations. Hence, ultimately acquiring degree certificates that are more desirable to prospective employees.
Second, even if young students have spare time, it can be better utilized on things that will make them healthier. Many young students already suffer from health problems, such as spinal curvature disorders and obesity. These health issues would cause many inconveniences to their daily activities and sometimes even threaten their lives. One common cause is that young students do not spend enough time doing sports. Sitting in fixed positions for prolonged periods, which is commonplace during an art or music class, places excessive pressure on the neck and the lower back, causing pain in the spine and sometimes leading to spinal deformities. Also, empirical evidence suggests that sitting too much positively correlates to obesity, which is one of the major killers of people today. To avoid such problems, students can use their spare time to do more sports because running and jumping around allows them to stretch their bodies, relaxing their backbone. The calories burnt during exercises also reduce energy stored as fat, making them less likely to become overweight.
To conclude, young children do not need to take art or music courses in addition to their compulsory courses because they do not bring career benefits or make them healthy.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 61, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'nations'' or 'nation's'?
Suggestion: nations'; nation's
...tion is one of the founding blocks of a nations prosperity. I believe young school chil...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, second, so, in addition, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 43.0788530466 79% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2353.0 1977.66487455 119% => OK
No of words: 423.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.56264775414 4.8611393121 114% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53508145475 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70855965452 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 244.0 212.727598566 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5768321513 0.524837075471 110% => OK
syllable_count: 716.4 618.680645161 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.8522030536 48.9658058833 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.047619048 100.406767564 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1428571429 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.90476190476 5.45110844103 53% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.117405681194 0.236089414692 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0392162022786 0.076458572812 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0472383120089 0.0737576698707 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.104603343988 0.150856017488 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0498106496348 0.0645574589148 77% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 11.7677419355 126% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 58.1214874552 74% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.97 10.9000537634 137% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.29 8.01818996416 116% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 86.8835125448 144% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.