Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Children rely too much on the technology, like computers, smart phones, video games for fun and entertainment. Playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for children’s deve
In the contemporary era, with the advent of technology especially in the field of computers and video games mankind's life has been changed a lot. One of the most important areas that this change has numerous effects is children’s playing habits. Previous generation was used to play games that needed more activities, however, these days little kids tend to sit on a chair and play PlayStation and other video games. Some people think it is not harmful to spend considerable time on these games and others have controversial opinions. Personally, I believe in the latter viewpoint. Among countless reasons which vindicate my point of view, I will mention the most two conspicuous ones in the following paragraphs.
The first reason that juts out of my mind immediately pondering this issue is the fact that nowadays since new machines were invented we have not done most of the activities which we had in past and let the devices do those for us, it has affected our physical healthiness in a bad way. As you know the human body needs to burn the calories that gain from foods, if it does not burn via outdoor activities, it will store in our body and convert to fats, the most harmful thing for our body and appearance in my opinion. Because of that, humans, like little children, ought to have some workouts which use those stored fats, one of the best workouts for infants is playing outside. It will help them to be more healthy. Almost 10 years ago, being in high school, I played football and volleyball in our allay and I remember my clothes were always saturated with my sweats. At the counterpoint my brother most of the time stayed at home and stared at the tv while playing PlayStation. Do you know what was the result? After 5 years I was a healthy boy which has great body shape, nevertheless, my brother injured from obesity and high cholesterol.
Secondly, these days because of some reasons people have considerable emotional problems which make them depressed person. In my opinion, the best cure for this problem is to participate in groups, talk with different people, play a game, have a fun time. The little kids are not the exception, they must play with a group and have fun because most of the illnesses begin from childhood and being depressed is really tremendous problem that affects all aspects of an individual's life. There was research in my country, the result showed that people who had a lonely childhood, like kids who spend most of their time on video games, would face depression issues and being an introverted person. This survey indicates that outdoor activity like playing in an open field is crucial for every little man and woman and it is not good at all to be eliminated from our life by video games or sedentary acts.
To make a long story short, based on the aforementioned arguments, we may draw the conclusion that deleting outdoor activities from human life especially from little kids' life has Irrecoverable effects on their life. This is because it’s physical effects like gaining fat and being lazy which leads the person to face countless problems, and because of various emotional problems that impose depression on the individuals.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 274, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a bad way" with adverb for "bad"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...t has affected our physical healthiness in a bad way. As you know the human body needs to bu...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 468, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'individuals'' or 'individual's'?
Suggestion: individuals'; individual's
... problem that affects all aspects of an individuals life. There was research in my country,...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, nevertheless, really, second, secondly, so, while, you know, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.0286738351 172% => OK
Pronoun: 58.0 43.0788530466 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2657.0 1977.66487455 134% => OK
No of words: 549.0 407.700716846 135% => OK
Chars per words: 4.83970856102 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.84053189512 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65014865849 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 277.0 212.727598566 130% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.504553734062 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 815.4 618.680645161 132% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 65.6425419271 48.9658058833 134% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.523809524 100.406767564 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.1428571429 20.6045352989 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.71428571429 5.45110844103 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.198373712227 0.236089414692 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0617466316878 0.076458572812 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0493237393987 0.0737576698707 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.11957445044 0.150856017488 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0539849975169 0.0645574589148 84% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 11.7677419355 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.09 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.32 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 86.8835125448 136% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.