Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Children rely too much on the technology, like computers, smart phones, video games for fun and entertainment. Playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for children’s development.
Since the dawn of civilization and industrialization, the outstanding role of entertainment in every individual’s life has been undeniable. Regarding the importance of the issue, a wide variety of aspects of entertainment and off-time activities have been assessed by scholars for decades. Accordingly, an unavoidable question that always has been the topic of controversy and brought about debates is that whether it is better for children’s development to play with friends or simple toys instead of electronic games. I adhere to the idea that spending time on technologies such as computer games is actualy beneficial for children. In what follows, two conspicuous reasons will vindicate my standpoint.
The first remarkable aspect to point out is that gaining and developing invaluable skills is of the main advantages of using these kind of devices. It is crystal clear that computer games and other applications are reaching more strategic and complicated levels every day, forcing users think and respond more quickly. Therefore, the more one is exposed to activities which put them in such situations, naming strategic games, the more they will get adapted to react properly in other parts of their lives. The statistics revealed by a recently conducted research in my country indicate that people who regularly play electronic games are about 65 percent more able to distinguish errors quickly in their profesional life. In addition, these games escalates one’s ability of prediction since they need one to decide in different conditions considering the current situation and then the result of decision gets illustrated.
Moreover, not only does these technologies enhance one’s especial features and skills, but they also provide them with a dood platform and background for future. Indeed, in this modern era, every vocation requires a lot of technological skills. Willing to achieve a desirable job, one has to be familiar with computer skills. As a consequense, children can strengthen their chance of gaining good jobs by spending time on electronic devices. For the matter of illustration, my brother used to play different elecronic games 4 hours a day. Once he happened to meet a manager in a party; thereby, despite not having all the requirements, she asker him to join her company due to his considarable computer skills which were the result of his childhood games.
In conclusion, I believe that spending time on technologies such as computer games can be beneficial for children based on a myriad of reasons only two of which were discussed above. Consequently, it is highly recommended that parents do not prohibit their children from using technological devices.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 126, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this kind' or 'these kinds'?
Suggestion: this kind; these kinds
...ills is of the main advantages of using these kind of devices. It is crystal clear that co...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 535, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[5]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'recently conducted research'.
Suggestion: recently conducted research
...their lives. The statistics revealed by a recently conducted research in my country indicate that people who ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, consequently, first, if, moreover, regarding, so, then, therefore, as to, in addition, in conclusion, kind of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 43.0788530466 81% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2299.0 1977.66487455 116% => OK
No of words: 425.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.40941176471 4.8611393121 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54043259262 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.14763733001 2.67179642975 118% => OK
Unique words: 245.0 212.727598566 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.576470588235 0.524837075471 110% => OK
syllable_count: 723.6 618.680645161 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.5905456939 48.9658058833 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.722222222 100.406767564 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6111111111 20.6045352989 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.88888888889 5.45110844103 145% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.186141696085 0.236089414692 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0577546616054 0.076458572812 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0597932043456 0.0737576698707 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.121845730477 0.150856017488 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0546328743202 0.0645574589148 85% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 11.7677419355 135% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 58.1214874552 68% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.39 10.9000537634 132% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.42 8.01818996416 117% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 86.8835125448 144% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 81.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.