Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Today, there are many ways to be successful in a job for everyone. Making a good connection with others can be one of them. It helps to increase income. While, some people believe that, studying hard can be more useful to be successful in a job. I believe that the first group is better for the following reasons.
The first reason is that, knowing to create a good relationship with others in a successful job is very necessary. They have more opportunities to increase the number of customers. Expanding the number of customers is caused to increase income. Thus, if a company arise the amount of its budget, it will be able to expand its business. For example, my father is a businessman. I remember that He always tried to make a new good relationship with people. At first he had a small carpet shopping. Gradually, he increased the sales of productions by attracting people to buy the carpet. Now, he has established many carpet shopping centers in many cities. He has created many job situations in his business.
Secondly, making a good connection with others has great effects to be successful in a job. people have more chance to find many friends. Thus, civilians able to spend more their time to speak with others about job topics. So, it makes them for getting new ideas to find their favorite business. For example, a new research has been done on two groups of young people who were interested to make a connection with different groups and young people who were not. This study shows that, the first group is more successful in their business. However, make a well connection with people has benefit results to make progress in a job.
On the other hand, some people are on the belief that, studying hard in a university has more effective in a successful job. When people do more research on various topics, they will have a better imagination to work in a job. For example, one of my friends was a good student at the university, he always was researching on many topics. Now, He is a manager in one of the famous companies.
In conclusion, being successful in a job depends on many factors. Everybody should try to get his/her goal. I believe that, making a good connection is very important to be successful in a job.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 93, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: People
...reat effects to be successful in a job. people have more chance to find many friends. ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 310, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[3]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'new research'.
Suggestion: new research
...d their favorite business. For example, a new research has been done on two groups of young pe...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 300, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[5]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put after the verb 'was'.
Suggestion: was always
...as a good student at the university, he always was researching on many topics. Now, He is ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, second, secondly, so, thus, well, while, as to, for example, in conclusion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 1.0 13.8261648746 7% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 43.0788530466 81% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1864.0 1977.66487455 94% => OK
No of words: 398.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.68341708543 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46653527281 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69816024082 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 212.727598566 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.437185929648 0.524837075471 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 584.1 618.680645161 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.6003584229 141% => OK
Sentence length: 13.0 20.1344086022 65% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 28.7479927439 48.9658058833 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 64.275862069 100.406767564 64% => OK
Words per sentence: 13.724137931 20.6045352989 67% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.89655172414 5.45110844103 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 23.0 11.8709677419 194% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.209986914608 0.236089414692 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0618954699786 0.076458572812 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0523971072756 0.0737576698707 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.133299360816 0.150856017488 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0381094948306 0.0645574589148 59% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.5 11.7677419355 64% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 66.74 58.1214874552 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 10.1575268817 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.27 10.9000537634 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.82 8.01818996416 85% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 86.8835125448 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.002688172 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.2 10.0537634409 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.