Effectively educating children is one of the most important issues in modern societies, which gives rise to society's prosperity in the future. Different methods are being used to improve education quality, and adopting a suitable approach is a complicated issue. Some people believe that elementary schools should allocate the maximum time for science classes and reduce music and art time regarding these methods. In my opinion, art and music are essential for children's education and should not be reduced, and I will explore my viewpoint in the following essay.
First and foremost, music and art increase children's creativity and opens their minds. Learning how to play a musical instrument develops children's minds and also their hand-eye collaboration. When they try to memorize notes and try to play the note, in fact, they are challenging their brain to recite the notes and play them simultaneously, which increases their power of thinking and adjusting. Likewise, in an art class, when they try to paint something or someone, they first imagine that case in their minds and then try to draw as many details as they can. In this way, they gradually learn how to observe and remember small details. So, art and music benefit the growth of children's minds in thinking and imagination.
Secondly, increasing science time puts extra pressure on children and dissuades them from studying and learning science. Most children love playing and having fun at this age, and they are less willing to deal with scientific issues. Art and music classes provide them some fun and variety among monotonous science classes. By decreasing this time and substituting it with science classes, children would get tired soon. Consequently, after some time, they would be reluctant to learn science, and even they are more likely to disgust school. For instance, when my little brother went to school, he was always overwhelmed with homework and had little fun at school. After coming back from school, he always delayed doing his homework because he was tired of heavy science classes. Some days he told me that he is unwilling to go to school. I am convinced that if their school had considered more time for art and music classes, he would not have been so dissuaded to learn science. As a result, enough time should be allocated to art and music at primary schools.
In a nutshell, I disagree with reducing art and music time and alternating it with science because art and music are necessary for children's mental development, and increasing science time makes children tired less enthusiastic about learning science.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, first, if, likewise, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, thus, for instance, in fact, as a result, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 33.0 13.8261648746 239% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 8.0752688172 223% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2192.0 1977.66487455 111% => OK
No of words: 429.0 407.700716846 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.10955710956 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55107846309 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64815612434 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.512820512821 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 662.4 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.8517912044 48.9658058833 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.380952381 100.406767564 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4285714286 20.6045352989 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.42857142857 5.45110844103 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.307808399469 0.236089414692 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0985016334974 0.076458572812 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0899243454296 0.0737576698707 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.217205383859 0.150856017488 144% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0947322106702 0.0645574589148 147% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 11.7677419355 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.13 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 86.8835125448 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.