In general, people are living longer now. Which of the following do you think is the main cause of this phenomenon?
Technological improvements
Changes to education systems
Improvements to our diets
It is undeniable that people in our generation are living longer than previous generations. This phenomenon is due to multiple factors. According to me, one of the most important cause that account to this phenomenon is recent technological improvements. I think this way for several reasons, which I will explain in the following essay.
To begin with, technological improvements help in imoroving the quality of life, which in turn improve the overall health of people. For example, I remember my grand mother telling me about how much she suffered her whole life from back pain. Her pain was originally from binding toward the sink for three or four hours to wash her clothes. She has never had a washing machine when she was young. She told me about her shock when she saw a machine that help in cleaning laundries. Recently, after she bought a samsung washing machine, which is a digital one, she is no longer struggling or suffering from any pain. Her back started to heal after she stopped clothes hand washing. It might be a small technoogical improvement for some people, but for her it changed her quality of life.
Second, I think that technology compensates in overcoming dangerous diseases. It decreases in some ways the death rate of many health issues. For instance, many new techniques help in decreasing the death rate in major surgeries. Last year I had a big surgery on my back to release one of the nerves there. It was really a critical and dangerous operation. The risk of failure was almost 55%, but due to a new technology used by my surgeon, the operation succeeded. In addition to that, I am no longer complaining about any pain or discomfort from that nerve.
In conclusion, I think hat technological improvemets account to the elongation of people life. It is not only because it improve the quality of life, but it also decreases the death rate due to health problems.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 137, Rule ID: ACCORDING_TO_ME[1]
Message: This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using 'in my opinion' or 'I think'.
Suggestion: In my opinion; I think
... phenomenon is due to multiple factors. According to me, one of the most important cause that a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 121, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'improves'?
Suggestion: improves
... people life. It is not only because it improve the quality of life, but it also decrea...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, really, second, so, for example, for instance, i think, in addition, in conclusion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 9.8082437276 20% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1574.0 1977.66487455 80% => OK
No of words: 327.0 407.700716846 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.81345565749 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25242769721 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79649855953 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 212.727598566 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.547400611621 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 491.4 618.680645161 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 24.8823991377 48.9658058833 51% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 74.9523809524 100.406767564 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.5714285714 20.6045352989 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.33333333333 5.45110844103 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 3.85842293907 259% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.18416303946 0.236089414692 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0564730298803 0.076458572812 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0613366659259 0.0737576698707 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.131590554798 0.150856017488 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0905559499847 0.0645574589148 140% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.0 11.7677419355 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 58.1214874552 111% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 10.1575268817 79% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.32 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.62 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 86.8835125448 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.