giving children money for their good grades in schools | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

giving children money for their good grades in schools

Children's minds are so adaptable, so the decisions that parents make for them can affect their life hugely. The decision to give children money in respect to their high grades can be a crucial one because, on the one hand, it can motivate the child, and on the other hand, it can give him a wrong motivation. In my opinion, the advantages of this action can overrule its disadvantages.

To begin with, studying, like all other things we do can become a habit. If a child studies enough to make a habit out of it, there would be no more need to pay him for it anymore. Thus the giving money process can be stopped as soon as the habit is shaped. My own experience can be an illustration for this matter. When I entered school, I did not like studying math. It was hard for me to understand it, and I just did not have the motivation to start the studying process. After a few months as my grades were sinking, my parents got involved. They promised me 10 dollars in exchange for each A or B grade. Therefore, I started studying harder and harder to get as many 10 dollars as possible. After a while, I began to understand math, after that, I studied it on my own just for the love I had found for the subject.

However, the method might be helpful, some may argue that this way the child would not have the right motivations, and it might harm him in the future. Besides, nowadays we can be left alone more than ever. With the increased rate of immigration, the chances of a child being alone in his twenties are more than ever. In these conditions, If the children don't learn to be on their own and make their own motivations, it can be detrimental for them, when they do not live with their parents anymore. The ability to be spontaneous and self-made is a crucial one and to rob a child of it, meddling in his schoolwork is not fair to him. I will provide an example of my sister for illumination. My sister was the last child, so my parents paid extra attention to her including her studies and other activities. They also paid her money for her good grades and other achievements. When she entered university, she moved out of the home and my parents no longer could have her back. It was the first time in her life that she didn't have her parents to motivate her, and she had not learned the ability to motivate herself so she failed all her courses and got expelled from the university instantaneously.

In sum, giving children money for their achievements like getting a good grade, can have both its benefits and its harms. Even though it can make a good habit for a child and motivate him, it can also backfire, and rob the child of being self-sufficient. To draw a conclusion, we should be aware and careful when doing it so we can have the benefits, and avoid the harms.

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Independent TOEFL Writing

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Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 182, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...no more need to pay him for it anymore. Thus the giving money process can be stopped...
^^^^
Line 4, column 714, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...10 dollars as possible. After a while, I began to understand math, after that, I ...
^^
Line 6, column 356, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...r. In these conditions, If the children dont learn to be on their own and make their...
^^^^
Line 6, column 1020, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...was the first time in her life that she didnt have her parents to motivate her, and s...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, first, however, if, may, so, therefore, thus, while, in my opinion, to begin with, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 9.8082437276 234% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 81.0 43.0788530466 188% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2275.0 1977.66487455 115% => OK
No of words: 518.0 407.700716846 127% => OK
Chars per words: 4.39189189189 4.8611393121 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77070365392 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5717655176 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.444015444015 0.524837075471 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 715.5 618.680645161 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 3.51792114695 256% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.1029591515 48.9658058833 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.5 100.406767564 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9230769231 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.42307692308 5.45110844103 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 3.85842293907 259% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.26303515007 0.236089414692 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0768063749936 0.076458572812 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0983660548834 0.0737576698707 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.191042337837 0.150856017488 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0532563838026 0.0645574589148 82% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.2 11.7677419355 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.18 10.9000537634 75% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.17 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 86.8835125448 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.