If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
I live in Kabul, capital of Afghanistan. Kabul has accommodated around 5 million people, while the city was designed to accommodate around 400 thousand residents. Most of the current populations have immigrated from the villages during the civil war and taken refuge in this city. Now the city faces numerous issues, most notably air pollution which brings about and spreads various lung and heart diseases among the residents. So, the one important thing that I would change is public transportation system. I will explain it in the following paragraphs.
Firstly, the current transportation system is not efficient, because the people use old and out of order cars to go to work and some people as transportation means to earn money to afford their family expenses. These old cars and vehicles produces a lot of smokes that cause lung disease and heart diseases. The cost of these cars are the death of thousands of the residents, especially children. Therefore, I will invest enough budget and effort for buying and providing new and proper cars and vehicles.
Second, traffic policies and rules are not updated and relevant for the current needs of the city: the current transportation system is not under any control from traffic management department. So, they cause a lot of traffic jam, as they don’t observe the traffic rules. Most of the drivers do not understand the rules, as they are illiterate. On the other hand, most of them get the driving license illegally and without take driving tests. I will develop effective policies, procedures for the traffic and transportation system in this city. For example, strict rules and reinforcement of the law would help improve the transportation in the city.
Thirdly, I will reconstruct the roads, avenues and streets. One of the main reasons for the inefficiency of the current transportation is non-standard roads and avenues that cause heavy traffic jams and consequently air pollution.
In conclusion, the transportation system in Kabul is not efficient and causes air pollution and spread of diseases. So, I will change it and improve it, because firstly, the vehicles that are used for transportation are old and out of order, second, the policies and rules are not updated according to the current needs of the city, and thirdly the roads do not meet standards and criteria for an efficient transportation system.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 93, Rule ID: OUT_OF_PLACE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'out-of-order'?
Suggestion: out-of-order
...ficient, because the people use old and out of order cars to go to work and some people as t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 431, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...for an efficient transportation system.
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, firstly, second, so, therefore, third, thirdly, while, for example, in conclusion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 26.0 13.8261648746 188% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 43.0788530466 53% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 52.1666666667 77% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 8.0752688172 198% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2008.0 1977.66487455 102% => OK
No of words: 389.0 407.700716846 95% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16195372751 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44106776838 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9327484957 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 212.727598566 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.493573264781 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 606.6 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.2932379958 48.9658058833 127% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.4 100.406767564 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.45 20.6045352989 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.05 5.45110844103 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.88709677419 225% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0605944786002 0.236089414692 26% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0213851747558 0.076458572812 28% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0556389997024 0.0737576698707 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0385383744721 0.150856017488 26% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.029027848501 0.0645574589148 45% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 11.7677419355 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 10.9000537634 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 86.8835125448 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.