If you have the opportunity to do something for a good cause, which of the following would you choose?
1. Distributing meals to needy people
2. Helping build a playground for children
3. Visiting people in hospitals
As human beings, we must help each other whenever possible to create a better society. if I were given a choice to do a philanthropic activity, I would definitely opt for a position in a group that helps build a playground for young children. The most legitimate reasons for my preference are elaborated in the ensuing paragraphs[S1] .
To begin with, making a decent playground for children provides them with an opportunity to develop and grow. By playing with their peers, children learn the most essential social skills; they learn how to interact with other children, communicate effectively, make friends and play in groups. Moreover, play improves children's intellectual abilities. When they devise games or play with each other, they need to constantly use their mind and power of creativity. The results of a scientific study in Psychology Today has indicated that the children who play outside with their peers frequently develop a higher IQ and become more intelligent. Therefore, by contributing to making a playground for small children, I will be able to help them to develop not only socially but also mentally.
Furthermore, contributing in[S2] the construction of a playground will also be useful for the people who are involved in the process themselves. Those who work on such projects will be endowed with an opportunity to utilize their knowledge and implement their skills in practice. Personally, as an architecture student, I will be able to practice the lessons that I have learned in university in a real-life situation if I participate in the construction of a playground. To be more specific, I will be able to sketch the outline of the area, do a computer simulation with software for the design and determine the position of machines and vegetation. this hands-on work will be an invaluable experience that not only teaches me challenges me to implement my knowledge but also boosts my confidence in my own abilities.
All in all, taking the aforementioned arguments into account, if I were given the choice for an altruistic activity, I would choose to help build a playground for small children. this is because I will be able to provide an opportunity for children to develop. In addition, this practical experience can be highly useful for me as an architecture student
[S2]contributing to
Grammar and spelling errors:
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...er possible to create a better society. if I were given a choice to do a philanthr...
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...elaborated in the ensuing paragraphs[S1] . To begin with, making a dec...
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...ed in the ensuing paragraphs[S1] . To begin with, making a decent playgroun...
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...t only socially but also mentally. Furthermore, contributing in[S2] the co...
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...he position of machines and vegetation. this hands-on work will be an invaluable exp...
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...my confidence in my own abilities. All in all, taking the aforementioned ar...
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... build a playground for small children. this is because I will be able to provide an...
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... for me as an architecture student [S2]contributing to
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, if, moreover, so, therefore, in addition, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 37.0 43.0788530466 86% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1993.0 1977.66487455 101% => OK
No of words: 381.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.23097112861 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41805628031 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.16426315803 2.67179642975 118% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 212.727598566 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.509186351706 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 613.8 618.680645161 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.0287094203 48.9658058833 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.235294118 100.406767564 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4117647059 20.6045352989 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.64705882353 5.45110844103 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.164424353173 0.236089414692 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0653869164459 0.076458572812 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0670119141949 0.0737576698707 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.128174395611 0.150856017488 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0621939982496 0.0645574589148 96% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 11.7677419355 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.35 10.9000537634 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.54 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 86.8835125448 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.