If you were given some financial support to start a business, what business would you start? Use specific reasons and examples

Essay topics:

If you were given some financial support to start a business, what business would you start? Use specific reasons and examples

In the contemporary world, the government and corporate organizations funding to encourage innovative thoughs and entrepreneurship. If I were supported financially for a business, I would start stem cell preservaction company. I fell this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, stem cells save people from the severe diseases. They are commonly used to treate diseases like cancer, genetic disorders, and infectious diseases. This life saving treatment is significant in our country, because those diseases are very common in the United States . My personal experience is a good example to illustrate this.when I was living at florida,my daughtr, who’s name is Anny, diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder called neoplastic anemia, which means gradual declining of red blood cells. The physician suggestd me for stem cell treatmet , but I didn’t save her stem cells. As a result, physician started alternative treatment dialysis and it’s main function is to filter the blood . But, the problem is, It is an expensive process and it has be continue life-lone.
In addition to peotect people lives from deadly diseases, Stem cell preservation is a profetable business because very few people are doing the stem cell preservation in a limited locatitons. If I were started this business in a non-competative rural location, I should get more profit. My classmate Alex is a good example of this. When we were studying for Master’s degree,hHe started his own stem cell preserving company with local bank support. The place, where he started his company was a small town and no competation within the fifteen miles radius. As a result, all the surrounding hopstials started purchasing stem cells from his company, and he got profited. For this reasons, I do believe in our contemporary world stem cell preservation is a profitable business.
In conclusion, Although some people cast a doubt on the accuracy of preservation, I feel that stem cell presrvation is a innovation and budding business in the present day. This business is helpful for society by curing diseases and profitable for owners. So, I personally recommend people, who are planing to start new business.

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Average: 7.8 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 30, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...g essay. First of all, stem cells save people from the severe diseases. They ar...
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Line 2, column 281, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...ses are very common in the United States . My personal experience is a good exampl...
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Line 2, column 327, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...personal experience is a good example to illustrate this.when I was living at flo...
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Line 2, column 373, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
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...strate this.when I was living at florida,my daughtr, who's name is Anny, dia...
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Line 2, column 401, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...g at florida,my daughtr, who's name is Anny, diagnosed with a rare genetic ...
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Line 2, column 411, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...da,my daughtr, who's name is Anny, diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder c...
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Line 2, column 576, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ician suggestd me for stem cell treatmet , but I didn't save her stem cells. ...
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Line 2, column 730, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...s;s main function is to filter the blood . But, the problem is, It is an expensive...
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Line 2, column 792, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'been'.
Suggestion: been
..., It is an expensive process and it has be continue life-lone. In addition to pe...
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Line 3, column 379, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...e were studying for Master's degree,hHe started his own stem cell preserving co...
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Line 3, column 428, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...ted his own stem cell preserving company with local bank support. The place, wher...
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Line 3, column 596, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...radius. As a result, all the surrounding hopstials started purchasing stem cells ...
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Line 3, column 681, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...m his company, and he got profited. For this reasons, I do believe in our contempora...
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Line 4, column 120, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
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...n, I feel that stem cell presrvation is a innovation and budding business in the ...
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Line 4, column 282, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...e for owners. So, I personally recommend people, who are planing to start new bus...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, so, i feel, in addition, in conclusion, as a result, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 37.0 43.0788530466 86% => OK
Preposition: 29.0 52.1666666667 56% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 15.0 8.0752688172 186% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1875.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 355.0 407.700716846 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.28169014085 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34067318298 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.10002637738 2.67179642975 116% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.597183098592 0.524837075471 114% => OK
syllable_count: 582.3 618.680645161 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.9726583604 48.9658058833 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.75 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.75 20.6045352989 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.05 5.45110844103 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 15.0 5.5376344086 271% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.163643548251 0.236089414692 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0564408250262 0.076458572812 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0715773136897 0.0737576698707 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113497033666 0.150856017488 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0441375977464 0.0645574589148 68% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 11.7677419355 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.05 10.9000537634 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.06 8.01818996416 113% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 86.8835125448 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 78.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.