Imagine that you have been given the opportunity to advise the government of a city or region (area) that you are familiar with to spend more money on ONE thing to benefit the city or region. Which ONE of these do you believe would be the most beneficial for the city or region? Why?
-Providing more affordable housing
-Reducing air and water pollution
-Attracting new businesses to the city or region
If I have enough expertise to advise the government of one thing that can benefit the city or region, some people would undoubtedly suggest the government to provide more affordable housing. Others would recommend the government to reduce air and water pollution. Still others claim that attracting new businesses to the city or region is the most favorable approach. For me, I believe that attracting new businesses is the best approach. My reasons are as follows.
To begin with, the government should place more emphasis on the economy, and suggesting the government attract new businesses to the city or region can boost the local economy and benefit the city. As an example, the Hsinchu City government wanted to incorporate computer technologies by createing several information-science related job opportunities. Therefore, thousands of IT companies decided to reside in Hsinchu, and these prestigious companies leaded to the increasing number of book stores, schools, movie theaters, etc. Several decades later, the whole economy of Hsinchu City skyrocketed, and Hsinchu become the third most prosperous city in Taiwan. On the other hand, four years ago, the Miaoli County government planned to provide a more affordable housing price by forcibly enacting the "Miaoli County Minimum Housing Price Decree". Nevertheless, the local economy of Miaoli County collapsed because no housing firm wanted to establish in Miaoli County. Apparently, offering more affordable prices is not a good idea.
In addition, the government should make sure that citizens had enough resources, especially electricity, to live a worriless life, and conspicuously, attracting new businesses to the city can help the government achieve the goal. Take Hsinchu City government again as an example. The government attracted several petroleum companies to reside in Hsinchu, leading to a high concentration of power plants built there. In the end, these energy firms benefits the whole city wiith the ability to generate nearly 80% of the city's total electricity, and Hsinchu residents never encounter electricity shortage for once. On the other hand, the Hualien County government decided to reduce air and water pollution, so it replaced nuclear plants and fossil fuel plants with windmills or solar panels. Unfortunately, these environmental friendly panels are extraordinarily inefficient, resulting in 30% of the citizens failed to have access to stable electricity.
In conclusion, if I have enough knowledge to advise the government of one thing that can benefit a city, I would undoubtedly recommend it to attract new businesses due to the aforementioned reasons.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 265, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Still,
...ment to reduce air and water pollution. Still others claim that attracting new busine...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
apparently, if, nevertheless, so, still, therefore, third, in addition, in conclusion, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 15.1003584229 33% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 43.0788530466 39% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 8.0752688172 235% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2264.0 1977.66487455 114% => OK
No of words: 407.0 407.700716846 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.56265356265 4.8611393121 114% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49157444576 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.11503535078 2.67179642975 117% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.513513513514 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 722.7 618.680645161 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.51630824373 119% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 8.0 3.08781362007 259% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.5018881245 48.9658058833 119% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.157894737 100.406767564 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4210526316 20.6045352989 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.26315789474 5.45110844103 115% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.239177789313 0.236089414692 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0769834558583 0.076458572812 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0703269776639 0.0737576698707 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168901277113 0.150856017488 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0546026408593 0.0645574589148 85% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.5 11.7677419355 132% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.24 58.1214874552 57% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.97 10.9000537634 137% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.29 8.01818996416 116% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 86.8835125448 137% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.