It is more important for government to spend more money on art and music museums than on facilities (like playground, public swimming pools)
The government is set up for some well-being for people’s life. Some people think that it is more important to spend money on art and music, while others think that facilities such as playgrounds or swimming pools are more important. It is always important for the government to make the choice that is most beneficial for people. In my opinion, it is more important to spend money on art and music.
To begin with, art and music can help people in many aspects. For adult, they can release their stress by looking at arts or listening to music. Adult are always busy for their work such as working on projects for their boss or preparing for the meeting they need to present. Therefore, it can be extremely stressful for them. If the government spend more money and build some museums, they can watch some concerts or paintings during their free time. For example, my dad is a manager in his company and he is always busy. Since, their is a museum built around my house, he always like to go there to listen to some orchestra concert during his free time. He told me that when he is listening to musics, he feel very relaxing and after that, he can have a better concentration on the work he need to do. Moreover, for young students, those museum can inspire their talent. When young students are listening to music or looking at paintings, they might find out that they are actually interest in doing this, and it might become the profession they want to do in the future. As a result, building a museum is beneficial for both adult and young students. On the other hand, it is true that facilities can also help people release stress. However, we need to consider about the weather condition. Since it is always raining in my city and the facilities are mostly located outdoor, these facilities will not be effective for people because we cannot use it when it is raining. In other words, building art or music museums can have more benefits to people than building facilities.
In addition, building art or music museums can provide more chance for every person to appreciate art and music. As we know, the cost of building a museum is extremely high. Without the government’s support, there is no way for ordinary people to have the chance to appreciate art and music. Having chances to appreciate art and music will become represent the richness. However, the government is always trying to treat every single person in a fair way. Therefore, the government should spend money on building museum. In this way, people no matter they are is rich, poor, old, young can all have the chance to visit the museum and learn to appreciate it. Beside, there are many students who choose to study art or music that really want to visit museums, so they can have more inspiration on their works, but there is no museum nearby their school. If the government build more museums, it can allow these students to visit and have a better success on their works. Indeed, building museums can not only provide chances for every people to appreciate art and music, but also help students have a better success on their works. Indeed, the government should definitely spend more money on building museums.
Undoubtedly, some people may say that it is better to spend the money on facilities such as playground or swimming pools, because when there are more facilities, people will go out and exercise more often. By doing this, people can have a better health. However, people can still go out and exercise without those facilities, but people cannot enjoy art or music without a museum. As a result, I think spending more money on art and music museum is a better option for the government to do.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 530, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: there
...s company and he is always busy. Since, their is a museum built around my house, he a...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 707, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'feels'.
Suggestion: feels
...that when he is listening to musics, he feel very relaxing and after that, he can ha...
^^^^
Line 2, column 834, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this museum' or 'those museums'?
Suggestion: this museum; those museums
...ed to do. Moreover, for young students, those museum can inspire their talent. When young st...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 446, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a fair way" with adverb for "fair"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ays trying to treat every single person in a fair way. Therefore, the government should spend...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, however, if, look, may, moreover, really, so, still, therefore, well, while, for example, i think, in addition, such as, as a result, in my opinion, in other words, it is true, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 15.1003584229 205% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 28.0 9.8082437276 285% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 31.0 13.8261648746 224% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 65.0 43.0788530466 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 70.0 52.1666666667 134% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3047.0 1977.66487455 154% => OK
No of words: 649.0 407.700716846 159% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.69491525424 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.04732388556 4.48103885553 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4807041887 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 212.727598566 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.369799691834 0.524837075471 70% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 942.3 618.680645161 152% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 3.51792114695 256% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 34.0 20.6003584229 165% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.6840116782 48.9658058833 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.6176470588 100.406767564 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.0882352941 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.76470588235 5.45110844103 124% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 23.0 11.8709677419 194% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.40882925823 0.236089414692 173% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.128932299696 0.076458572812 169% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.117414938195 0.0737576698707 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.322481778923 0.150856017488 214% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.120573600253 0.0645574589148 187% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 11.7677419355 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.92 10.9000537634 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.6 8.01818996416 82% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 86.8835125448 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.