Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamor and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
I strongly agree with the statement that today's celebrities gain more fame for their allure and wealth than accomplishments. This makes them a bad example for the youth and makes them waste their time chasing the easy-to-get money and stardom instead of working hard to gain prominence. Usually, most of the teenagers are naïve enough to easily deceived by this shine and focus only on the glamor, not on the fulfillment. Furthermore, some teens chase celebrities’ news and luxury life which makes them passionate to get money even in illegal ways. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
The first reason that I agree with the statement, is that some of the naïve youths are readily tempted to famous lives in negative ways. They tend to ignore their school or work and focus on how to become famous even though that will lead them to an unknown future. For example, my neighbor’s daughter left the school and started to take photos and videos on social media to gain money and popularity. She never listened to her parents’ advice to wait and become well-educated first. She said that she takes Kim Kardashian as her role model and argued that Kim gained all that luxury without talent, but by posting her photos and showing her beauty.
Secondly, some celebrities hit the news and gain their fame through the wrong ways which attract another type of teenagers. They negatively inspired by these wrong paths and spend most of their time tracking those celebrities’ news and get so obsessed with their wealth. As a result, these minors might follow illegal ways to easily gain money, which will lead them to jail. For instance, there is a teenager in my community who had committed a crime and spending life in prison. His only reason was that he has loved O.J.Simpson since he was a child and always wanted to be like him. So, he joined a gang that had taken stealing to gain money.
To recapitulate, there are celebrities who are popular for their incredible acts or outstanding performance. In contrast, others are have reached fame without hard work and through unethical paths which make them bad influencers to the young people. For that reason, I do agree with the statement that these untalented celebrities with their luxurious lifestyle, set a bad example for young people.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 59, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...hat I agree with the statement, is that some of the naïve youths are readily tempted to fam...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 528, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Simpson
...s only reason was that he has loved O.J.Simpson since he was a child and always wanted ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 134, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'had'.
Suggestion: had
...ng performance. In contrast, others are have reached fame without hard work and thro...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, if, second, secondly, so, well, for example, for instance, i feel, in contrast, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1957.0 1977.66487455 99% => OK
No of words: 400.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.8925 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.472135955 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69408611592 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5325 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 600.3 618.680645161 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 27.2557396939 48.9658058833 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 103.0 100.406767564 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0526315789 20.6045352989 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.10526315789 5.45110844103 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.3063412935 0.236089414692 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0951306416601 0.076458572812 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.108546086362 0.0737576698707 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.207419509609 0.150856017488 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.123522095526 0.0645574589148 191% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 11.7677419355 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.39 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 86.8835125448 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.