Technology changed our life in different areas. Kids are more dependent to different technology advancement nowadays. While some believe this change are positive for students and childeren to get along with this new world, others against it. In my opinion, playing with simpler toys and outside is more beneficial for them due to their need to grow healthy and learn how to modify their action in different situation.
First of all, kids need to move to grow healthy. In other words, without engaging in simpler playing and going outside they do not grow normally. In other words, these playing help them to learn the usage of fine and difficult muscle movement which is necessary for their normal growth. Also, they provide them an environment to have fun with nature and simple life. They learn for having happiness there is no need to have lots of money and fortune. For example, being friendly with plant and animals and playing with ball which is present every where provide them joy and happiness even more than technology. In addition, these activities help kids to increase their serotonin level and growth hormon which is crucial for their mental and physical health. Research showed that seeing more obesity and deppression and anxiety between kids are product of this modernize life. Kids are experiencing more sedentary life due to technology which harms their body and mental health. So, involving in playing outside with simpler tool is essential for their normal growth.
Moreover, kids learn and develop by interaction in different situation. In fact, they learn how to reacted to different situation by being in that position. By playing with simple toy and engaging in group playing, they learn and touch how to react and how to behave in different situation. For instance, they learn there is win and fail in every game and they have to play fair unless they loose their friend. Studies showed that kids without interaction with other kids in different situation, are less capable of having a successful life in the future. Therefore, communication and interaction in real world situation is very important for their adaptation and building social skills. Kids with less interaction with other kids do not learn how to behave. In other words, they have deficiency in social behavior, so become more isolated. Therefore, they will suffer in the future. Thus, kids need interaction to develop normally.
In conclusion, although knowing about the use of technology is very helpful and can help the kids to know how to use them properly from the young age, too much dependence on these devices has drawbacks. Kids in young age need physical activity for their growth and development. Physical activities and engaging in simpler plays, not only help the kids to grow healtier in their mind and their body, but they are also useful for their decision making in the future and better communication skills and better life.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 276, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Also
... movement is necessary for their growth.Also,they provide them an environment to hav...
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Line 2, column 280, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , they
...ement is necessary for their growth.Also,they provide them an environment to have fun...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 326, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Lastly
...provide them an environment to have fun.Lastly, they help them to increase their serot...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 540, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
...uct of this technological life for kids.So, involving in playing outside with simp...
^^
Line 4, column 175, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...m the young age, too much dependence on this devices has drawbacks.Kids in young age...
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Line 4, column 201, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Kids
...ependence on this devices has drawbacks.Kids in young age need physical activity mo...
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Line 4, column 218, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... devices has drawbacks.Kids in young age need physical activity more.Physical act...
^^
Line 4, column 248, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Physical
... young age need physical activity more.Physical activities not only help the kids to gr...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, lastly, moreover, so, therefore, while, in conclusion, in fact, first of all, in my opinion, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 11.0286738351 27% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 32.0 43.0788530466 74% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 8.0752688172 223% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1768.0 1977.66487455 89% => OK
No of words: 346.0 407.700716846 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.1098265896 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31289638616 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71105660695 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 212.727598566 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.49710982659 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 536.4 618.680645161 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 102.542807372 48.9658058833 209% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 110.5 100.406767564 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.625 20.6045352989 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.0625 5.45110844103 148% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.157821025657 0.236089414692 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0550962080845 0.076458572812 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0549486541242 0.0737576698707 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.103941705504 0.150856017488 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0501577948238 0.0645574589148 78% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 11.7677419355 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 58.1214874552 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 86.8835125448 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.