Nowadays, children rely too much on the technology, like computers, smartphone, video games for fun and entertainment; playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for the children's development.
Nowadays, parents are trying to up-bring their children in an excellent fashion in order become successful in their future life. In this regard, I think that it is more advantageous for children's development to use technological devices, such as computers rather than playing outside or simpler toys. The reasons to support my viewpoint are elaborated on in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, by using computers, smartphone, children will be more creative. It is not secret to anyone that people's life are very dependent to modern technology, so if children learn how to utilize computers and smartphones they will have convenient life in the future. To be more specific, nowadays, a lot of well-known companies have been producing various useful and beneficial games based on their consumers' age and interest. In this case, if parents choose an appropriate game for their kids, they help to children's development since their kids will involve in various challenging situations within games. In this regard, when they play a mysterious game, they require to use their intellectual ability in order to find a best way to dilemma. As a result, they will be more creative in their both study and future jobs. On the contrary, when kids play with a simpler toys these kinds of benefits is not reachable for them.
Moreover, parents are able to foster their children more easily if their children play a video game or play with his or her smartphone inside home. To put it in other words, nowadays, parents should be more considerate toward their children rather than the past since their children are exposed to various kinds of negative and detrimental issues in public, such as violent and bad language. In this regard, parents can control and evaluate all of their kids' reaction if their children paly inside house rather than outside. An example can shed some light on this issue. Consider a young person who plays a football with his friend. In this case, every child are susceptible to have a conflict with his teammates. Therefore, if they have a conflict since some of the kids are not very polite they will use some bad words. In this case, if the mentioned boy were not familiar with those words, he will be affected.
In conclusion, contemplating all the mentioned reasons and examples, I do believe that using the technological devices like computers are more beneficial for children’s' development rather than simpler toys and playing outsides. Not only do they be more creative in their lives, but also they will be up-bring in correct ways.
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past 73
- TOEFL T P O 20 - Integrated Writing Task 3
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?When teachers assign projects on which students must work together, the students learn much more effectively than when they are asked to work alone on projects.Use specific reasons and examples to supp 80
- TPO-48 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Because modern life is very complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize. 65
- TOEFL T P O 21 - Integrated Writing Task, genetic modification 3
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 57, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER
Message: Consider replacing "in an excellent fashion" with adverb for "excellent"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...s are trying to up-bring their children in an excellent fashion in order become successful in their fut...
Line 3, column 678, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO
Message: Did you mean 'using'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
...ey play a mysterious game, they require to use their intellectual ability in order to ...
Line 3, column 729, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE
Message: Use 'the' with the superlative.
...r intellectual ability in order to find a best way to dilemma. As a result, they ...
Line 5, column 756, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE
Message: Simply use 'some'.
...herefore, if they have a conflict since some of the kids are not very polite they will use ...
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, moreover, so, therefore, well, i think, in conclusion, such as, as a result, in other words, on the contrary, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2141.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 428.0 407.700716846 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0023364486 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.548423998 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72743523497 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.485981308411 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 666.0 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 12.0 4.94265232975 243% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.1525622662 48.9658058833 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.05 100.406767564 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4 20.6045352989 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.9 5.45110844103 127% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.258116253678 0.236089414692 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0888315097978 0.076458572812 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0736800856928 0.0737576698707 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.177279270042 0.150856017488 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0183420991803 0.0645574589148 28% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
automated_readability_index: 12.8 11.7677419355 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 58.1214874552 86% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.72 10.9000537634 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.07 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 86.8835125448 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.