Part-time job is beneficial for young people. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement.
Most of Youngers have lots of energy and intelligence to do multiple tasks at the same time. It is better for them to work few hours after classes to achieve their goals and having a good career in the future. Some people do not prefer having any kind of job for students because they think this will distract them from their study and getting high scores. However, I agree that holding down a part time job for young people is beneficial. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, when students earning their own money, this will give them a measure of independence. Most of parents pay for college tuition and living expenses, but still their kids need extra cash for clothes, trips, and other entertainment. Instead of begging or borrowing more money from their parents, they can fund their fun from part-time job. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. I remember when I was in my last semester; I worked in a pharmacy the night shift. I was able to pay my cell phone pills every month. Also, I could buy most of my dresses and makeup for many of family and college events without taking any money from my father. Therefore, working part-time in the pharmacy gave me stable income and I became more independent.
Secondly, working part-time from a young age enhances building a network with other people. Even if students not gaining work experience in a field that they want to pursue, they are still making connections in the professional world. For example, my old brother was working during the summer time in a coffee shop, and one of the shop’s regular customer was the project manager of one of the biggest construction company in California. Later, he helps out my brother to get his first permanent job as a civil engineer in the same company. And now my brother is one of the most successful executives in the field. He always gives advices to young adults in our family to have a job and build good relationships which will benefit them in the future.
In conclusion, working part-time for students while they are attending their classes in a college is really important because this will teach them to be more independent and to build professional network.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 396, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...s. However, I agree that holding down a part time job for young people is beneficial. I f...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 287, Rule ID: SUMMER_TIME[2]
Message: Use simply 'summer'.
Suggestion: summer
..., my old brother was working during the summer time in a coffee shop, and one of the shop&a...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 556, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...engineer in the same company. And now my brother is one of the most successful ex...
^^^^
Line 7, column 206, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...dent and to build professional network.
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, really, second, secondly, so, still, therefore, while, for example, i feel, in conclusion, kind of, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1864.0 1977.66487455 94% => OK
No of words: 394.0 407.700716846 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.73096446701 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45527027702 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57863148961 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.545685279188 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 574.2 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.0927000816 48.9658058833 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.2 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7 20.6045352989 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.15 5.45110844103 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.217585471658 0.236089414692 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0686724429555 0.076458572812 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0791329232388 0.0737576698707 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.137866664697 0.150856017488 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0597034205513 0.0645574589148 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 11.7677419355 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.15 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.62 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 86.8835125448 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.