People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment – doing things they like to do—rather that doing thigs they should do.
Nowadays there are too many entertainments, especially for young adults, teens, and children. Computer games, online gaming, social media, chatting and virtual friends. I strongly believe that our society, in general, spends too much time on these pleasure activities and not enough time on educating themselves. I will explain this in the following essay.
First of all, online free gaming is the new trend among children and teens. Millions of people are spending hours in front of the computer, among them our children. Online gaming is becoming the new drug of the 21st century. Studies have shown that teens and young adults are spending more than 5 hours on weekdays doing online gaming, instead of doing homework or reading. My own experience is a compelling example of this. As a middle school teacher, I have lived the change in attitude in my students. When online games became the frenzy about four years ago. I noticed that students that used to be fairly good at doing their homework or preparing their test no longer felt the need to be responsible for their work. Furthermore, I started noticing that they were falling asleep in class and saw them very tired due to a lack of sleep.
Second, young people pay too much attention to social media. They not only spend hours on their phones chatting, texting, video calling, etc. But they feel depressed if they do not get enough people that follow them. As a result, young people are not coming out of the universities as well prepared as the should be. We are creating a society of mediocre professionals, due to the fact that they rather feel important on social media, that being proactive in their studies.
By way of conclusion, I feel that today’s teen and young adults are wasting their time in useless games and leisure electronic related activities. Instead of preparing themselves to be better professionals
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 506, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “When” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... the change in attitude in my students. When online games became the frenzy about fo...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, if, second, so, well, i feel, in general, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 43.0788530466 91% => OK
Preposition: 34.0 52.1666666667 65% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1573.0 1977.66487455 80% => OK
No of words: 318.0 407.700716846 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.9465408805 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22286093782 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60011744645 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 212.727598566 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.59748427673 0.524837075471 114% => OK
syllable_count: 468.0 618.680645161 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.5271901426 48.9658058833 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 78.65 100.406767564 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.9 20.6045352989 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.6 5.45110844103 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.252173657278 0.236089414692 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0613097150623 0.076458572812 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0801210471522 0.0737576698707 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.13518798449 0.150856017488 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0852933607902 0.0645574589148 132% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 11.7677419355 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 58.1214874552 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 10.1575268817 79% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.13 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.3 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.002688172 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 68.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.5 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.