Question :Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
Grade is a significant part of studying, especially for school-age children. Grades of courses estimate the performance of children at school. It is a matter of debate among experts and other people whether it is better for parents to offer their children money for each high grade that they get in school or not. As far as I am concerned, offering money as a reward for school-age children has some advantages, for two important reasons.
First, offering money for each high grade encourages school-age children. When parents offer their children money as a reward, by doing so, most of them become motivated to study. School-age children are not usually interested in studying, and practice and a little motivation can help them get accustomed to their courses. For instance, when I was seven years old, I did not like to go to school, and I cried all the time. My father told me when I pass the first exam, I will give you something, and I had no idea what that was. When I passed my first exam, my father gave me some money in order to buy a toy which I really loved. I was really happy, and my father offered me other rewards for each high grade. I had become so motivated to go to school; gradually, I had become accustomed to my courses. It is obvious offering money as a reward not only helps children become motivated but also helps them cope with the challenges of courses.
Second, offering money causes children to enhance their effort in order to get a high grade. In this way, children try to study and practice hard, and every time they get a high grade, parents acclaim them, which is pretty merit; thus, children gradually improve themselves, and they augment their knowledge; they figure out value knowledge and continue studying; eventually they become prosperous people. I would like to provide an example when my brother was nine years old, he escaped from school all the time, he did not like to study, and he believed that studying was not suitable. My father talked to him and convinced him, as well as allocated money for him for each high grade. My father told him by getting a high grade, he could earn money, and he could collect all of his money and then leave school and start his business; on the other hand, my brother not only left school but also continued to study; eventually, he became an engineer.
To sum up, in my view offering money, especially for school-age children, has some benefits. By doing so, parents encourage their children, most of whom become motivated and overcome their challenges; therefore, they can be successful in the future. I hope parents all around the world consider rewards for their children. It can be just acclaim, not a physical reward such as money.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, really, second, so, then, therefore, thus, well, for instance, of course, such as, as well as, in my view, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 67.0 43.0788530466 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2253.0 1977.66487455 114% => OK
No of words: 479.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.70354906054 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67825486995 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52469810696 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.461377870564 0.524837075471 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 694.8 618.680645161 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 21.0 9.59856630824 219% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 8.0 1.86738351254 428% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.938185661 48.9658058833 126% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.409090909 100.406767564 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7727272727 20.6045352989 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.13636363636 5.45110844103 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.408671833287 0.236089414692 173% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.15312175207 0.076458572812 200% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0952098459249 0.0737576698707 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.29548587384 0.150856017488 196% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0700895570898 0.0645574589148 109% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.98 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.41 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 86.8835125448 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.