Some adults believe that nowadays children’s behavior is worse than children’s behavior was in the past. These adults have suggested three actions that parents can do to help children ages 5–10 behave better (for example, by speaking more respectfully to adults or acting more kindly toward other children). Which ONE action that parents can do might have the most positive effect on their children’s behavior? Why?
Vividly, today, children’s behavior has become worse than before. There has been disagreement among people on how to make these children behave more respectfully and gently. Some parents prefer to spend more time talking to their children; however, others think that supervising them while playing games with other children is the best way. In my opinion, the most effective way for this purpose is to limit the types of television programs and movies they watch. That is because most movies depict and justify misbehavior by heroes. Furthermore, aggression is something common in television programs, which can adversely affect children’s behavior. In the following paragraphs, these reasons are elaborated using examples.
To begin with, watching movies that show some improper behavior and try to make it look fine, can have a severe influence on children. Otherwise stated, there are some heroes in most movies that do bad things for what is called “good reasons”. Many children like to copy what their heroes do. The most obvious example of these types of heroes is Robin Hood. When I was a child, he was a very popular hero among children. Robin Hood used to break laws continuously and rub rich people to help the poor. Most of his mean and inappropriate actions were copied by children of my own time, including me. If my parents banned me from watching that show, I would have never tried to duplicate his bad manner.
Second, aggression is very common in television programs. Clearly, constantly watching a lot of aggressive behavior in these types of shows can negatively affect children’s mind. Psychologically speaking, when someone considers some behavior to be bad and after that sees it repeatedly in television, unwantedly, this behavior gets to seem normal to him after a while. For instance, I remember that when I was a child, I had been watching a series of Bruce Lee’s movies, before I tried to hurt my brother. Fortunately, I wasn’t able to do any serious harm to him. However, the movies had an adverse effect on my behavior at that moment. Consequently, it is not right to let children watch any type of television shows they want, specifically the ones that contain aggressive scenes.
To sum up, I strongly believe that setting strict rules for the types of shows and movies children are allowed to watch is the most effective way to correct their behavior, for there is lots of wrong misbehavior shown and justified in these movies. Moreover, it is very likely that children try to copy the aggression they are exposed to, when they watch much television.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 136, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Otherwise,
...an have a severe influence on children. Otherwise stated, there are some heroes in most m...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 178, Rule ID: THERE_S_MANY[3]
Message: Did you mean 'there are lots'?
Suggestion: there are lots
...tive way to correct their behavior, for there is lots of wrong misbehavior shown and justifie...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, furthermore, however, if, look, moreover, second, so, while, for instance, in my opinion, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2197.0 1977.66487455 111% => OK
No of words: 433.0 407.700716846 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07390300231 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56165014514 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85979203208 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.54272517321 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 682.2 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.7279359698 48.9658058833 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.5416666667 100.406767564 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.0416666667 20.6045352989 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.33333333333 5.45110844103 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 3.85842293907 311% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.341736831183 0.236089414692 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0991945908735 0.076458572812 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0746837395467 0.0737576698707 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.223224097571 0.150856017488 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0608700755863 0.0645574589148 94% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 11.7677419355 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.83 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.29 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 86.8835125448 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.