Some famous athletes and entertainers earn millions of dollars every year. Do you think these people deserve such high salaries? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion
Undoubtedly, People work and devote their life to many different fields. Accordingly, some fields have huge amounts of money,unlike some others. In this regard, some famous athletes and entertainers become supper wealthy through their career which some people they deserve and some believe not. I, for one, concur with the notion that the first group is correct. I feel this way for two reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
To commence with, personally,I believe these famous people, had devoted their whole life to this success. To be more specific, they are taking the fruit from their hard-working tree. Moreover, any famous athlete,for instance, had worked his or her whole life for gaining this success and it makes them deserve for wealthiness. My own experience can drive this notion home. When I was in school, I nad this classmate named Hadi. He loved playing soccer. He used to spend all his spare time practicing soccer. While we, other students, were playing different games or hanging out he was just practicing soccer. At the age of 19,he was invited to Iran's international soccer team. As a consequence, he is earning millions of dollars annually which is ad dream for others of us.
Second, this vast salary for these people is an encouragement for others to work hard and try to be like them. To put it in a more vivid picture, when teenagers see this wealthiness which is a result of hard-working work, they try to do the same. My own experience is a compelling example of this. The friend Hadi that I mentioned above, was influenced by Iran's best soccer player Ali Daei, who is a really each man due to his achievements in football. Hadi was doing his best to become like Ali Daei and he ultimately ended up one of the most important soccer players in Iran.
In conclusion, considering all the foregoing arguments, I firmly believe that famous athletes and entertainers deserve the money they earn. This is because not only do they work so hard for this goal to achieve, but also this is a good motivation for teenagers to work hard to be successful.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 51, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...y, People work and devote their life to many different fields. Accordingly, some fields have h...
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Line 1, column 125, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , unlike
..., some fields have huge amounts of money,unlike some others. In this regard, some famou...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 29, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , I
... essay. To commence with, personally,I believe these famous people, had devote...
^^
Line 3, column 212, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , for
...rking tree. Moreover, any famous athlete,for instance, had worked his or her whole l...
^^^^
Line 5, column 357, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'Irans the best'.
Suggestion: Irans the best
...at I mentioned above, was influenced by Irans best soccer player Ali Daei, who is a really...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, first, if, moreover, really, second, so, while, for instance, i feel, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 9.8082437276 20% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 41.0 52.1666666667 79% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1735.0 1977.66487455 88% => OK
No of words: 361.0 407.700716846 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.80609418283 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35889894354 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67820481965 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.573407202216 0.524837075471 109% => OK
syllable_count: 535.5 618.680645161 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.6431010168 48.9658058833 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 78.8636363636 100.406767564 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.4090909091 20.6045352989 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.86363636364 5.45110844103 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.134580956674 0.236089414692 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0408236564525 0.076458572812 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.051244787126 0.0737576698707 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0929915349148 0.150856017488 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0383380361602 0.0645574589148 59% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.4 11.7677419355 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.32 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 86.8835125448 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.