Some lessons for young students (5~8 years old)increase their interest to learn including video games. But some people believe it will distract young students. What is your opinion? Why?

Today there is a lot of interest toward the innovative methods in order to educate young individuals aged between 5-8 years old. In this vein, one proposed method is to use video games as a medium to teach pupils in schools. However, some people criticize the implementation of this method and express their concerns regarding the negative effects it would have on children’s focus in school. Personally, I am in accord with those who support the integration of technology in the learning process and the following are the reasons to substantiate my view.
To begin with, thanks to recent breakthroughs in the computer industry and the development of powerful hard wares capable of processing huge amounts of data, the graphic of video games revolutionized in a way that interests children to engage with such hobbies more than ever. Accordingly, it provides a unique opportunity for education authorities to collaborate with companies working in the information technology (IT) sector and develop educational software for students. To elaborate upon my point, take my personal experience as an example. I gifted my 7-year- old niece on her birthday a language- learning game, which was designed to learn English to children through games. The graphic was astounding and she almost fell for it the minute I showed her how to use it. As a result, she plays the game every day and we could see how her language skills improve. The important point here is that she had attended an English class for about six months until then and she was not half as good as when she practiced with the game for two months. This clearly shows the effect of the video game on her learning and productivity.
Furthermore, the integration of various sophisticated learning technics such as artificial intelligence learning algorithms in video games has greatly affected the performance of video games enabling them to regulate based on their users’ needs. The mentioned ability would enhance learning in children by assessing the knowledge of students and determining appropriate learning algorithms based on their users’ intelligence. To be more specific, consider the language learning game I bought for my niece. In this game, there is a cat acting as an English teacher which intelligently designs future courses based on the overall performance of my niece in previous lessons. For instance, after twenty lessons, it detected that she has a strong ability to learn new words but her weak point is the pronunciation skill, so it designed the upcoming lessons emphasizing more in pronunciation skill. The unique autonomous learning algorithm in the game, meticulously arranged the study to improve her learning.
To sum up, given the points and examples mentioned above, I believe that today video games provide a great opportunity to design a smart learning framework for children. This is because not only does the outstanding graphic of video games is more appealing to children, but also through the intelligent learning process designed within the games, children’s learning will be optimized.

Votes
Average: 9.7 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, furthermore, however, if, regarding, so, then, for instance, such as, as a result, to begin with, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 52.1666666667 136% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2605.0 1977.66487455 132% => OK
No of words: 498.0 407.700716846 122% => OK
Chars per words: 5.23092369478 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72397222731 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.0006726288 2.67179642975 112% => OK
Unique words: 271.0 212.727598566 127% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.544176706827 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 818.1 618.680645161 132% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.7936008423 48.9658058833 120% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.25 100.406767564 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.9 20.6045352989 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.55 5.45110844103 120% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.189362846014 0.236089414692 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0577239454732 0.076458572812 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0405680994107 0.0737576698707 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119349397933 0.150856017488 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0191030473179 0.0645574589148 30% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.7 11.7677419355 133% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 58.1214874552 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 10.1575268817 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.35 10.9000537634 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.17 8.01818996416 114% => OK
difficult_words: 137.0 86.8835125448 158% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.