Some parents forbid young children from owning smart phones (cell phones with Internet access), while others disagree and believe that they are important tools for keeping in touch. Which point of view do you think is better, and why?

Essay topics:

Some parents forbid young children from owning smart phones (cell phones with Internet access), while others disagree and believe that they are important tools for keeping in touch. Which point of view do you think is better, and why?

There is no shortage of debate, whether it is better for parents approval to use smartphones with an internet connection to children. In my opinion, banning to use of mobile phones is a critical thing for small kids because it affects them both physically and mentally ways also their social life. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, a lot of kids are addicted to playing games on their phone and chatting with each other through many online platforms. It easily affects their mental and physical health directly which are vulnerable to influence by anything worse. I have to admit that my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by my brother's experience. This year he is seven years old but he couldn't communicate and express himself with people like his peers because he doesn't know how to interact with others but just only know how to play games. In addition, he diagnosed that he had extreme fatigue and basic-level of mental disorder. One day, we decided to forbid using a cell phone which his the most favourable and easily used platform to access the internet and play games. The first time, he absolutely irritated and mourned about it over and over, then we suggested he try to do sports such as judo and basketball which were his favourite ones. As a result, He readily agreed to enrol the clubs and he received a lot of awards and prizes from those sports. This example demonstrates how halting to utilise a cell phone with online connection is essential to children to become a healthy and independent person to the future.
Secondly, Spending a little bit time on their social life, in a result, they are easily isolated from their peers and it is likely to impact on their communication skills adversely. Drawing from my experience, when I was a little girl, I didn't have an opportunity to go the kindergarten so I stayed with my grandma all day long. She just gave me her phone and I used it for many hours every single day. Then I suddenly realised that I completely detached from my friends because I just concentrated on her phone all day and I unconsciously addicted it. It got away my many friends from me and I have almost no friends from my childhood.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that allowing to use a phone to your children has a great number of drawbacks. This is because it affects their mind and physical health for many ways and because it takes away their childhood great recollections and companions from them.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 392, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
... This year he is seven years old but he couldnt communicate and express himself with pe...
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Line 2, column 470, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...f with people like his peers because he doesnt know how to interact with others but ju...
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Line 3, column 22, Rule ID: LITTLE_BIT[1]
Message: Reduce redundancy by using 'little' or 'bit'.
Suggestion: little; bit
...n to the future. Secondly, Spending a little bit time on their social life, in a result,...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 239, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...experience, when I was a little girl, I didnt have an opportunity to go the kindergar...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 49, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'using'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: using
...usion, I strongly believe that allowing to use a phone to your children has a great nu...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, secondly, so, then, i feel, in addition, in conclusion, such as, as a result, in my opinion, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 9.8082437276 10% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 13.8261648746 159% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 73.0 43.0788530466 169% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2081.0 1977.66487455 105% => OK
No of words: 444.0 407.700716846 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.68693693694 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5903493882 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63963483534 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.536036036036 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 659.7 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 35.6330948912 48.9658058833 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.526315789 100.406767564 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3684210526 20.6045352989 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.15789473684 5.45110844103 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.191745401469 0.236089414692 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0624596970624 0.076458572812 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0461805904474 0.0737576698707 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.117743491954 0.150856017488 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0250076823278 0.0645574589148 39% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 11.7677419355 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.22 10.9000537634 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.37 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 86.8835125448 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.