Some parents forbid young children from owning smart phones (cell phones with Internet access), while others disagree and believe that they are important tools for keeping in touch. Which point of view do you think is better, and why?
In this modern society, smart phones are indispensable in our daily lives. From kids to the elder, everyone has own smart phone and uses it everyday. Although no one can deny the necessity of smart phones, it is still controversial that letting young children to use smart phones is profitable for children. Some people argues that parents should let their children to use smartphones to keep in touch with them; however, I firmly believe that forbidding young children from owning smart phones can benefit children and prevent deleterious side-effects such as wrong-developed economic insights or addiction on smartphones.
First and foremost, parents should prohibit their children from owning smart phones in that smart phones can plant wrong economic insights on children. When they buy what they want or use their data to play games, they do not use physical money that they can feel and see. Therefore, no matter how much they spend, they cannot recognize the amounts of money perspicuously. If they keep using money virtually, they will build wrong economic insights that they just can buy with one 'click', and they cannot learn the value of money.
Secondly, there is a risk on the addiction. Since in this modern society, there is new and intriguing information everyday, children will not be bored while using their smartphones. Moreover, they can play a plethora of games interminably, they can have fun with smartphones. However, it is plausible that they cannot control their schedule and priority since they are immature. Also, they do not have their own identity or belief, they are more vulnerable to addiction that can ruin their daily life and other substantial issues such as study or family.
In brief, I truly believe that parents should inhibit young children from smart phones since they are not fully-fledged. If they are continuously revealed to smart phones, they cannot preclude the risk of addiction and also they may build wrong economic conception.
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 155 200
More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns or not to use pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence. Look:
they can play a plethora of games interminably,
they can have fun with smartphones. However, it is plausible that
they cannot control their schedule and priority since they are immature. Also,
they do not have their own identity or belief,
they are more vulnerable to addiction that can ruin their daily life and other substantial issues such as study or family.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 322 350
No. of Characters: 1617 1500
No. of Different Words: 155 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.236 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.022 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.56 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 102 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.467 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.018 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.358 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.553 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5