Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
In this age and day, well upbringing of children are one of the most significant tasks for parents since children are the future of society. because of the importance of this issue, there is a controversial debate among people all around the world whether children should be paid money when they get a good grade in school or not. some people think that giving money to children for their success in school is a good idea, while others disagree and state that it has a negative effect on children. I subscribe to the former idea, and in the ensuing paragraphs, I will provide two reasons to illustrate my point of view.
To begin with, rewarding children when they get good marks, motivate them to try even harder, and they can be more successful in school. when children feel there are no differences between their effort to study and the times they spend on playing and having fun, they will have less tendency to bother themselves to study. On the other hand, giving money to them as a reward for being diligent raise their motivation to spend more time on their lessons; as a consequence, they will improve their skills and knowledge in schools. From my own experience, when I was an elementary student, I did not like to spend my time studying and wasted my time playing with my friends. But later, my parent promised me to give me money if I try to get good grades; so, this encouraged me a lot to do my best at school.
The second reason is that children can realize the value of money, and practice how they can use it, so it learns them to be more prepared in the future. when they try hard to get good marks, and for this can get some money, they will find out that earning money is so difficult. Therefore, they try to use in an efficient way, and avoid wasting money; as a consequence, they know how to spend their money in the future. For instance, one of my friends, who is seventeen years old, still give pocket-money from her father, and she has never done anything to earn the money. she always uses all of her money, and waste it by buying unnecessary stuff; besides, she never tries even a little.
In conclusion, considering the two reasons mentioned above, I strongly believe that parents should give money as a reward for their children when they get good grades at school. because, it motivates them to try hard to get good grades, and it affects their skills. Moreover, children can understand the concept of money, and learn how to use it in a more efficient way.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion: Because
...nce children are the future of society. because of the importance of this issue, there ...
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Suggestion: Some
...they get a good grade in school or not. some people think that giving money to child...
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Suggestion: When
... they can be more successful in school. when children feel there are no differences ...
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Suggestion: When
...them to be more prepared in the future. when they try hard to get good marks, and fo...
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Line 5, column 308, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an efficient way" with adverb for "efficient"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...o difficult. Therefore, they try to use in an efficient way, and avoid wasting money; as a conseque...
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Suggestion: She
... never done anything to earn the money. she always uses all of her money, and waste...
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Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Because
...en when they get good grades at school. because, it motivates them to try hard to get g...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, if, moreover, second, so, still, therefore, well, while, for instance, in conclusion, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 63.0 43.0788530466 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2046.0 1977.66487455 103% => OK
No of words: 452.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.52654867257 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61088837703 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.44089422175 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.482300884956 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 622.8 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 10.0 1.86738351254 536% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 30.6239610374 48.9658058833 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.352941176 100.406767564 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.5882352941 20.6045352989 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.76470588235 5.45110844103 142% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.388696431489 0.236089414692 165% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.140399938714 0.076458572812 184% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0974606468666 0.0737576698707 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.275125537803 0.150856017488 182% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0799147312759 0.0645574589148 124% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 11.7677419355 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 62.01 58.1214874552 107% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.29 10.9000537634 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.69 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.