Imagine that you plan to donate money to charity to help people in need. If you could give money to only one type of charitable organization, which one of the following would you choose and why?
- An organization that provides food and housing to people in need
- An organization that gives people money to start their own small business
- An organization that provides medical care to people in need.
In this day and age, people confront various problems and hardships during their life, making others feel a duty for helping each other. Therefore, there are several organizations which receive a donation from people to help poor people. A question can be raised in this regard is which way is the best to spend the money to help people who are in need. Among different options which exist in this case such as providing foods and medical cares, I believe that using money in order to start small businesses for the people in need is superior. In the ensuing paragraphs, I will delve into the two main reasons to substantiate my point of view.
The first reason corroborating my opinion is that by helping people start their own businesses, they will be enabled to run their businesses themselves, which will result in a reduction of people in need after some time. In other word, one can buy their own food in this way, can provide medical care for their entire life, to name but a few, if they get able to make money by running their own businesses. It is worth mentioning that, if one starts his or her own job, they also can employ other people, which will lead to lower the unemployment rate in the community. My opinion about this matter is influenced by the experience of one of my friends, Jack, who is forty years old now. Ten years ago, since he had no job, he kept borrowing money from his father most of the time for almost seven years. After that, his father decided to support him starting his own business, managing a restaurant, rather than just lend him some money time to time. By doing so, Jack was able to not only provide his own needs by the money he earned through his business afterwards, but return the money he had borrowed for seven years. Had he not started his own job, he would not have been that independent. His father supporting him to start his business was also benefited other people as well, as Jack has employed twelve other persons to work in the restaurant. This example clearly manifests that if charity organization invest the money to help people start their own businesses, the number of the people in need will decrease over time.
The second reason supporting my idea is that the crime rate in a society will be reduced if people get financially independent by having a job. It is clear that every individual has a myriad of needs in their lives, which are not just about foods or medical cares. Owing to this fact, if they can not support themselves or their families, they will be more likely to get forced to do something against the law. As a statistical study backing up this issue, an investigation performed by a group of researchers at the University of Southern California in 2012 can be pointed out. They figured out the amount of crimes committed in a country has a direct relationship with the number of jobless people. With this in mind, it is clear that if people have no job, they are more prone to commit a crime. Therefore, if the money which is donated to the charity organization spend on providing jobs for poor people, it will lead to a safer community.
In conclusion, considering both the reasons mentioned above, one can readily infer that supporting people to have their own career is one of the most superior ways to spend money when helping people. Firstly, if one has a job, by earning money, she or he can buy the necessary things for a living. Secondly, the more people have jobs, the less crime occurs in a society, showing the importance of providing jobs for more people.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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...ons to substantiate my point of view. The first reason corroborating my opinio...
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...ople in need will decrease over time. The second reason supporting my idea is ...
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...e, it will lead to a safer community. In conclusion, considering both the reas...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 9.8082437276 214% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.0286738351 181% => OK
Pronoun: 70.0 43.0788530466 162% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 87.0 52.1666666667 167% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2924.0 1977.66487455 148% => OK
No of words: 636.0 407.700716846 156% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.59748427673 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.02185627292 4.48103885553 112% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49498527944 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 290.0 212.727598566 136% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.455974842767 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 913.5 618.680645161 148% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 9.0 3.51792114695 256% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 13.0 4.94265232975 263% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 35.999911111 48.9658058833 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.96 100.406767564 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.44 20.6045352989 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.68 5.45110844103 68% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.215059664946 0.236089414692 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0743215896526 0.076458572812 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0581170449401 0.0737576698707 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.155883221212 0.150856017488 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0395868619821 0.0645574589148 61% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 11.7677419355 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 63.02 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.7 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.78 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 86.8835125448 135% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.