In general, children who go school, especially first or second grade students, enjoy playing and having fun as much as they can. Since both their teachers and parents want them to study hard for passing exams. There are plenty strategies to encourage or force the children to study harder. Many people want to know whether it is a perfect way to encourage student by offering them money or not. A common idea is that this strategy is unlikely as well as the others, but I personally repudiate it. In what follows, I will delve into two reasons to shed light on my response.
First reason that comes to my mind is that offering money leads to better educational system. parents can have the most viable effects on their children; if the parents offer some valuable issues, like money, to their school-age children, the students would practice and study harder to get them. As a result, the parents help growing education system even in the children’s home, which will be counted as the teacher’s assistances. Based on a research on two different educational system of primary schools in US and Switzerland, one of the most influential factors, which caused the better educational system of US, was financial supports of children’s parents. Most of the students of US’s primary schools were encouraged for marks they’d gotten by their parents with amounts of money.
Second, should offering money be one of the best strategies for school-age children, they can learn how hard earning money is. Children, especially in those ages, like to play with their toys, which are expensive enough to not be bought by children. Parents can offer their children amounts of money per each high mark in the school, and children will know that although it needs really hard studies for high marks, it can be prized by something that make them able to buy their toys. As I remember, when I was an eight years old child, I was in love with weapon toys, but I was prevented by my father from buying such ones. The only way to get that toy was a financial offer for getting high marks. To be summarized, I tried really hard, but in every minute, I knew that the more difficulties, the more abilities to buy toys. At the end, when I had given amounts of money, I did not spend it for toys, owing to the fact that, I knew value of the money in that era.
To recapitulate, we can conclude that offering money is the best strategy for encouraging school-age children to get high marks. This is because it has viable effects not only on the educational system of a society but also on children’s learning about difficulties of earning money. Thus, I suggest that all parents should think about this strategy to have better influence on their society.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 95, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Parents
...ney leads to better educational system. parents can have the most viable effects on the...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 328, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[5]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to grow' or 'grow'.
Suggestion: to grow; grow
...get them. As a result, the parents help growing education system even in the children&a...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 453, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'research'.
Suggestion: research
...he teacher's assistances. Based on a research on two different educational system of ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, really, second, so, thus, well, in general, as a result, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 65.0 52.1666666667 125% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2286.0 1977.66487455 116% => OK
No of words: 478.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.78242677824 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67581127817 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66617169184 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.491631799163 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 684.9 618.680645161 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.1868883116 48.9658058833 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.857142857 100.406767564 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7619047619 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.2380952381 5.45110844103 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.409412018653 0.236089414692 173% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.120935504937 0.076458572812 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.100557540601 0.0737576698707 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.256633489851 0.150856017488 170% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0433391204265 0.0645574589148 67% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 11.7677419355 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 58.1214874552 114% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.74 10.9000537634 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.63 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 86.8835125448 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.