Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
I agree with the method that parents offer extra money to their children when they get a better score, and the reasons are as below.
Firstly, in the contemporary society, it is necessary for children to get more money than before, because they are facing more pressure from the increasingly complicated exams and fierce competitions during the school. As a result, they need to entertain themselves by some extraordinary stuffs to have fun, and most of them are charge. so, instead of giving money to them directly, parents can offer the bonus as a reward of achieving academic success. In this case, children would be driven by those actual reward, so they can keep their mind on courses and put lot of energy on their studying, and as a consequent, they would gain so-called salary for their hard working, which could let them to purchase what they want, such as Lego blocks, robots, video games in a right way. For instances, my little brother was motivated by his parents because they promise him to buy a new video game if he would achieve a better score in final-exam, and as a result, he made a huge progress and got the game as his wish.
Admittedly, some parents believe that loosing the limitation of money controlling would distract kids and make a negative influence on them, like smoking cigarette, immersing themselves in virtual world, or even badly being destroyed by overindulgence. Honestly, those worries are not unreasonable. A survey conducted by experts from Peking University shows that over 86.34 percent of youngsters are willing to spend money, over their economic situation, on entertaining things. For instances, a boy is likely to engage in some mobile games and spend so many money to play a better performance, and this phenomenon probably occur on students who have no ability to earn money. However, this is not the reason that we should refuse to set a money reward. The key to hold their children on a right way is mainly base on their parents action towards them. money is not guilty. Only if parents teach the kids about how to spend their money in a proper way, can both of them engender a happy environment.
In a conclusion, offering money to children when they attain academic success is a proper idea because the cost of entertaining for youngsters nowadays is pretty high, and their parents should pay more attention on their children and teach a proper way to spend their money, which could benefit both of them.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 338, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
... have fun, and most of them are charge. so, instead of giving money to them direct...
^^
Line 3, column 766, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a right way" with adverb for "right"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...uch as Lego blocks, robots, video games in a right way. For instances, my little brother was m...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 39, Rule ID: LOOSING_EFFORTRECORDSEASON[1]
Message: Did you mean 'losing the'?
Suggestion: losing the
... Admittedly, some parents believe that loosing the limitation of money controlling would d...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 555, Rule ID: MANY_FEW_UNCOUNTABLE[2]
Message: Use 'much' or 'little' with uncountable nouns.
Suggestion: much; little
...ngage in some mobile games and spend so many money to play a better performance, and...
^^^^
Line 5, column 555, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun money seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much money', 'a good deal of money'.
Suggestion: much money; a good deal of money
...ngage in some mobile games and spend so many money to play a better performance, and this ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 854, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Money
...e on their parents action towards them. money is not guilty. Only if parents teach th...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 937, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a proper way" with adverb for "proper"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...the kids about how to spend their money in a proper way, can both of them engender a happy envi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, honestly, however, if, so, for instance, such as, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2041.0 1977.66487455 103% => OK
No of words: 423.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.82505910165 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53508145475 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64383575309 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.536643026005 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 631.8 618.680645161 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 88.4953231658 48.9658058833 181% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.066666667 100.406767564 136% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.2 20.6045352989 137% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.13333333333 5.45110844103 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.309776424773 0.236089414692 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103058057921 0.076458572812 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0630427455103 0.0737576698707 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.212436289747 0.150856017488 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0231457311922 0.0645574589148 36% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 11.7677419355 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 58.1214874552 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.03 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.46 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 86.8835125448 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.